Hi can I have a rant please. My brother had a fall a week ago Saturday he got taking to Hospital where after a scan was told he had broken/fractured a small bone in his neck. They were going to discharge him but I said no way it was an unsafe discharge, anyway next day I was called as they could not control him and he refused to wear a neck brace again I said he is not coming home like that if he has another fall he could end up paralysed. Monday a team of Docs, social workers and OT agreed he could not come home and put A DOL on him as a safequard as he does not have the capacity to make his own decisions. Today I went in and he had his clothes packed and when I said he wasn't coming home yet he got in a rage so I walked out saying if he didn't stop I was leaving at that he got a chair and was throwing it against the wall, I managed to calm him down and when I left he was a bit better. They are going to send him for reenablement but due to Covid most places are shut. I feel like not going in any more until they sort something out and I feel this might be the end of my caring for him. He is 78 I am 61 and feel my life is over and the only way I will ever get peace in this world is if I am no longer here as it is the only way out
Lindi,
You should never EVER have been left to care for your brother at all.
I have a son with severe learning difficulties, I promised my eldest son that I never expected him to care for his brother, but I did expect him to keep an eye on him.
NO ONE can force you to care for your brother, and you are quite entitled to say enough is enough.
Nurses at the hospital have now seen what he is like, and he must either stay in the hospital or go to a rehab hospital until they can find him a permanent home. Whilst he is in NHS provision, the NHS can put huge pressure on Social Services, who have funds and responsibilities to meet his care needs for life.
Do NOT agree to have him home ever again, once he is home, then you have lost all leverage.
Plan to go away for a few days, starting next Saturday, so you are simply not contactable.