Re: How to tell someone they're not good at something
Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2012 3:49 pm
anyone who has the right skills would be welcome but it seems a shame that people with an interest in common are expected to 'formalise' what is essentially a private social arrangement to avoid accusations of discrimination from someone who was never invited in the first place.I have no idea what the activity is but I do hope that this experience will not prevent the members welcoming someone with LD who does have the required level of proficiency into the group but perhaps to prevent anyone, with or without a disability, joining and negatively impacting on the group in the future you need to consider whether you should set it up on a semi-formal basis with a minimum standard of proficiency requirement to gain membership.
After all I wouldn't dream of walking up to a group of strangers in a cafe and plonking myself down in the middle of them expecting to be part of their activities
Hopefully I'd be aware of a caree's limitations and have done some research on possible groups, checking to see if they were formal clubs or just a small informal social gathering and contacting them first so as not put the caree into situations that are completely beyond their abilities.I can see this is a problem to the group, but can't help seeing it from another perspective, what if it was my caree? How would I feel then for him and me?
The disruptive/anti social behaviour isn't the result of frustration as 'A' is quite oblivious to his lack of skill, it's just his 'normal' way of doing things, viewed by his family as little eccentricities ... such as sticking a hand down inside the front of his trousers for a good 'groinal' scratch and re-arrangement of bits and pieces ..... no matter where and who he's with at the time
It'll work out right in the end, it's just trying to find the best way to do it without upsetting 'A' too much as it's not his fault his family have misled him. One possibility is not meeting for a couple of months over the summer so that it looks as if the group has finished and then re starting, but in someones kitchen and calling it a 'friends weekly coffee morning'