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Down's Syndrome - Carers UK Forum

Down's Syndrome

For issues specific to caring for someone with learning disabilities

We adopted John-Paul when he was a baby, fully aware of his condition. If he had been born to us, no doubt we would have been shocked and grieved for the healthy baby we desired. It is normal for people to wish to give birth to a child without health issues. I would never have considered abortion as I am opposed to it, although I believe a woman has the right to choose. I am grateful that pregnancy screening was not available to me in the 70s when I had my daughters.

Our youngest daughter had the anomaly test at 16 weeks gestation and was shocked to discover that she had a very high chance of having a baby with DS. As much as she loves her brother, she felt it would have put a terrible strain on their family if they had to raise a child with this condition, but the idea of abortion was a nightmare scenario. Fortunately the amnio proved that the baby didn't have DS, and she went on to give birth to our beautiful granddaughter in May this year.

John-Paul's birth parents were in their early 20s when he was born in '85. Screening for DS was only available to older women in those days. We were told that he would certainly have been aborted if his condition had been known. Although he is quite severely mentally disabled he is a joy and blessing to the whole family and we wouldn't be without him. Image
many down children live happy lives all ya have to do is see thyre endearing smiles xxx
John-Paul is brilliant with his nephews and niece, they adore him. 'Little E' (5), seen in the photo below reckons that if they sold Uncle John-Paul on e-bay they would make lots of money because every child should have a special uncle like him. J-P is regarded as a status symbol Little E shows his uncle off at every opportunity, which is sweet! Image

I posted on the general site about this.

When our son was born, like JP, 23 years ago, I was 23 and my husband 28. It has been a much more difficult life than we anticipated when we got married, but then life would be a bit boring if it all went swimmingly!Certainly now my son is an adult, he is not the problem, we have more stress from outside agencies.

And today, I went into a shop and found a lovely ornament for Christmas. It was an angel, sitting cross legged, with a pair of doves, and when I looked at her, she had Downs Syndrome.I bought her straightaway. It was the only one in the shop.They are getting rid of their gift department which has been there all my life, and I believe(may sound silly), that this was a message from my late mother. She and my husband had a special connection to this particular shop, for a very special present that was bought there. My husband needed a mother this week, and my mother may be gone but she certainly found a way to get through to the son-in-law she cared about so much.

I wouldn't be without my son, but I understand what you say about your daughter .I am grateful that I wasn't screened, because Ben is the most wonderful person I know. I am so proud that this man calls me "Mum".
Some of my best friends have Down's Syndrome and some of the nicest wisest people I know had it. Of course I've also met some who are a pain in the bum. They are real valuable human beings that we can all learn something from. I would go so far as to say that the world would be a sadder place without them.
I have a 29 year old son with ds and when he was born all they could tell me was that "they are very loving and love music". My son had a massive hole in heart and various health problems as a child but God was helping him and the hole closed on its own without surgery. I am very determined that he is allowed to reach him potential and after 10 of not giving up he finally has a proper job as a waiter/dishroom assistand part time that he loves. Never put boundaries on your ds child because i have found that where as most people go to school college etc and there seems to be a point that they have developed. with my son he developed more from 19 years old. In the last 10 years he has learnt more than ever before, I mean in reading writing etc., understanding money and life skills. I fully believe that if you can look on your son/daughter as a normal person and don't expect them not to achieve, then they can reach their enourmous potential. My son has set himself up in British heart foundation volunteering and also in his local as a glass collector he has no free time. 10 years ago I never thought I would see the day when he would be so occupied. Downs people are the best and I am a very proud mother.
Sharon, you must be very proud. Well done to both of you.

My daughter Sarah is 18 and has DS shes a typical stroppy teenager who hates us one minute and loves us the next lol. She leaves school next year and I dont know what she will do then, she cant tell the time, she doesnt know money and she cant independant travel but I am hoping that with help from me taking her on buses etc when she leaves school I can get her more independant
I can tell you that I was in the exact same position as yourself. When Alex was 16 he had attended a mainstream comp with 1 to 1 support. He achieved with max help 10 certificates of education. A headteachers award for best pupil i.e. friendly helpful and polite, yet his writing was poor, reading not too good, and as for money and maths, well I dreaded the worst. He went to college special ed for 7 years, honestly it was mainly to fill in time as he had nothing else to do. I must say though that his time at college helped him greatly with life skills and day to day maths and reading writing etc. He has matured so much and after 10 years of not giving up and knowing that there was something he could do he got a job in a cafe. I changed from the jobcentre disablement officer who was useless to remploy who found him this job. Hooray for them. Never ever give up or be put down by people who haven't got the forsight or guts to give your child a chance. I wrote more letters and made more phonecalls than I can remember. Everybody has a talent. Downs are a bit on the lazy side as a rule and only want to do what they want to do. They need a push to try different things. He used to sit watching tv constantly. Now what change, he goes to the local to play darts and collects glasses(voluntary), volunteers in british heart foundation. works part time in caf, joined a special needs rugby team. You won't believe the change the future holds for your child, as long as you never put limits on him. All the best.