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Carers UK Forum • Adult daughter in residential total heartbreak - Page 2
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Re: Adult daughter in residential total heartbreak

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 8:21 pm
by bowlingbun
It's really early days yet, for both of you.
Maybe she could visit briefly at Christmas? I'd suggest that you check with the home what they do.

Some places encourage residents to see family, but of course as the years pass many have lost both parents. One place my son went to closed down completely for the holiday.

Re: Adult daughter in residential total heartbreak

Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2019 9:58 pm
by Tara _1909
Well the home and sw will encourage jess to come home for xmas but she’s one stubborn lass. ( Down syndrome #1 trait)
So I’ll see how it pans out.
Had a lovely visit with lotsa hugs today but she’s still not ready to visit home!
X

Re: Adult daughter in residential total heartbreak

Posted: Mon Nov 18, 2019 10:06 pm
by Melly1
Tara,
Glad you had a good visit today. If she doesn't want to visit home on Christmas Day then maybe she will on Boxing Day.

Melly1

Re: Adult daughter in residential total heartbreak

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2019 6:12 am
by thara_1910
Tara _1909 wrote:
Mon Nov 18, 2019 9:58 pm
Well the home and sw will encourage jess to come home for xmas but she’s one stubborn lass. ( Down syndrome #1 trait)
So I’ll see how it pans out.
Had a lovely visit with lotsa hugs today but she’s still not ready to visit home!
X
Good luck!

Re: Adult daughter in residential total heartbreak

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2019 8:07 am
by bowlingbun
Tara, it may not feel like it, but you are very lucky that your daughter has settled so quickly and doesn't want to come home all the time. I'm rather envious!

Maybe you could do something special for the home, to involve all the residents? Even if it's just a special afternoon tea for everyone, then you can get to know her new friends better.

Are you finding it difficult to plan something for your own future? When did you last have a proper holiday? I go to a wonderful "singles only" hotel in Crete. It's definitely not a dating hotel, but somewhere you can feel safe, relax, swim, chill by the pool all day, walk, do trips out every day if you want. Best of all you can have delicious Cretan food, and a drink and proper conversation with people in a similar position. I always say it was where I learned to live and laugh again after the death of my husband.

Maybe next year think about how you can enjoy your freedom?

Re: Adult daughter in residential total heartbreak

Posted: Tue Nov 19, 2019 9:10 pm
by Tara _1909
I’ve applied for a few jobs and doing a few work training days in dec.
my bf and me have been away for odd weekend and ive had so much quality time with my other daughter.
Just miss the little space where jess should be.
X
Ps I always take in chocs for jess to share with her friends and it seems she’s happy. Im grateful for that.

Re: Adult daughter in residential total heartbreak

Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 11:29 am
by Penny
Hope you managed a nice Christmas.

My daughter chose to go to residential college when she was just 16 so the youngest there. TBH it was a waste of two years in my opinion. She cried and kept ringing constantly every evening and there was no rest for us as we worried constantly so at least your daughter seems settled.

When she got a bit more settled and if we rang her she would say “I’m not talking, I'm playing pool.” But you bet your life if we went out for a meal or something we would be constantly interrupted by her ringing.

It’s really difficult when they leave the nest. Most of the parents at her college felt the same as we did. One girl was so bad that she would literally be screaming and holding on to the wing mirrors of her parents car as they tried to drive away.