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Churchill retirement flat - Carers UK Forum

Churchill retirement flat

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
My partner was in hospital for almost a year, to begin with they treated him for depression/anxiety, before looking at possible dementia issues which I had been requesting for several years before this.
MY partner was discharged almost a month ago into a care home for which he is self funding, this was done as the hospital said he had to be discharged into a care home. At the time the social worker told me that in her view he didn’t need to go into a care home and that social services would not fund it once his money dropped, which would be about the end of December this year.
The Care home I know now is totally the wrong environment for him, the other residents are much older than him, and also a lot more poorly. All of the residents meals except for lunch are taken in their rooms, and even at lunchtime only 4/5 of them go through to the dining room, the rest of them staying in their rooms. The staff don’t make any effort to chat or spend time with the residents, if they have any time to spare they sit in the Lounge watching telly or on their phones, they don’t make any effort to go and socialise with the residents in their rooms. All the residents do is exist, there is no quality of life what so ever. The care home manager has also told me that the care home isn’t the right environment for my partner in her opinion , she didn’t meet myself or my partner when we visited before he was admitted as she was away on holiday.
My partner has very poor short term memory issues, and it’s a struggle to get him to have a bath and change his clothes, but he is happy to come home for a few hours and we go out to lunch probably 3 times a week, we also go to a dementia support group once a week, he doesn’t umdesta d that he has dementia issues, just says his tummy hurts and that he is very weak all of the time, lots and lots of tests have been done, and it is just dementia and depression/anxiety.
So, today I am having 2 single beds delivered, we live in a one bed cottage. I am then bringing my partner home so that I can care for him. I have asked the doctors surgery and also Social Services to come and assess my partner at home which hopefully will happen one day next week they have told me.

The other option is, is to do a home exchange with a Churchill Retirement flat in a new build 2 miles away, I have been and spoken to them a couple of times, and they have reserved a flat for me for one week. The only issue could be my age, I am 55 and my partner is 74. I am allowed to live their even though I am under 60 because of my partner being over 60, my question to them is what happens if my partner has to go into a carehome if he declines quickly and I am still u dear the age of 60, they are still unable to answer that one yet, am hoping for an answer today!
Has anybody else done a move like this and would they recommend it?
We live in an old cottage that is quite dark and has quite steep stairs and I am thinking that a light modern flat could be a positive move, they do lots of Social events as well which will be good to keep him functioning socially and mentally.
Just after any thoughts or advice that may help please! Thank you
Hi Frances,

I would make sure you have the care in place - before you give up the bed in the care home - 24/7 caring is tough.

The retirement flat does sound lovely and is still in your locality.

I have some questions worth considering:

Does it have two bedrooms?

Is there onsite care and support if needed?

Moving house is very stressful, if you are going to do this, could your husband go into respite whilst you do it?

You definitely need to know whether you can stay there should your husband go back into a care home (or pass away) before you reach 60. You need this in writing.

I would urge you to think again, because the confusion is only ever going to get worse, not better.
Instead, I would suggest finding a much more suitable home, in a location which you can visit easily.

You say that he is "self funding", so under these circumstances he can go wherever you want, AFTER the proper procedures have been followed.
After Covid, I'm not certain about the exact wording of things, I'd strongly urge you to contact our Carers UK helpline for confidential advice.
Here are some things to consider.

Do you have Power of Attorney?
As he was in hospital for almost a year, was he sectioned?
If so, under some circumstances the NHS should be funding his care.
Did he have an NHS Continuing Healthcare Assessment before Social Services were involved? Again, this would be free.
Is he claiming Attendance Allowance? Non means tested.
Is he now receiving "Funded Nursing Care"?
Were you told that you could CHOOSE whether the financial assessment was assessed jointly, or individually?
Are you happy with how your own housing costs will be met?
Frances please be careful if the flat is small and there is only one bedroom. If his care needs increase and he for example, needs a hospital bed, it could become unbearable if you are together 24/7 in a small enclosed space.