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Problems with personal hygiene affecting mood? - Carers UK Forum

Problems with personal hygiene affecting mood?

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
It's heartbreaking.

For the last 2 weeks I've been struggling to get a stool sample from mum. We finally got her to the GP last week and she has a great deal of soreness which we couldn't fathom.

Over the past week or so she's become more and more depressed, crying and feeling so sorry for herself and telling us no one cares about her - not true of course but dementia ....:cry: . Today I discovered that she'd been making herself sore scrubbing at herself with a towel :ohmy: no wonder she's having problems!

I just don't know what to do to help her. I got some aqueous cream for her but it's a struggle to get her to use it. She's in such low spirits and nothing seems to cheer her. Trying to get an appointment with the GP is the usual thankless task.

Can anyone advise me?
This is a tricky one Nikki because as your Mum has dementia she will most likely not remember what you say however carefully you explain it to her.

My Mum had dementia and quite a lot of toileting issues as she had a stoma. When I discovered she was doing things wrong like not spraying adhesive remover on her bag before trying to remove it (which caused red, painful skin which often bled) I would explain it over and over again and she said she understood it but she would just forget it a few minutes later.

I did write her a large sign reminding her which I stuck on the wall in front of the loo. Might this work with your Mum? Worth a try?
Penny wrote:
Fri Nov 05, 2021 7:26 pm
This is a tricky one Nikki because as your Mum has dementia she will most likely not remember what you say however carefully you explain it to her.

My Mum had dementia and quite a lot of toileting issues as she had a stoma. When I discovered she was doing things wrong like not spraying adhesive remover on her bag before trying to remove it (which caused red, painful skin which often bled) I would explain it over and over again and she said she understood it but she would just forget it a few minutes later.

I did write her a large sign reminding her which I stuck on the wall in front of the loo. Might this work with your Mum? Worth a try?


It is a difficult one I know. I'm at a loss. I've been trying to get a stool sample for the doctor from her and that's enough to turn your hair white! I'm going to give it a couple of days and attempt it again but if course getting through to the doctor is well nigh impossible too so I can't really get any advice
Any luck with the stool sample Nikki? I take it your Mum uses the toilet OK, so you need to put something in the loo before she sits down, to catch the poo. Maybe an old plastic icecream tub or similar. Have you been and collected a little sample pot from her surgery? if so just put some in there and get it to the surgery asap.
Hi Nikki,

Sticky notes work like a magic. I always stick it to my aunt's side table, refrigerator, bathroom door, and even on her favorite food tray. I always include love messages and the thing I always need to remind her every day.