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help required by 57 year old carer who has hit a brickwall - Carers UK Forum

help required by 57 year old carer who has hit a brickwall

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
Being a full time carer I attend as many carers groups as possible.

Sadly the most recent listened but failed to advise on how I can avoid not being heard

We have a " best interest " meeting due this week and I fear from.questions raised prior and attitudes from the NHS they have already made their decision.

Having been advised of the wonderful work caretobedifferent.co.UK produce this has offered some crumb of comfort.

If anyone reads my plea for help in time would they be kind enough to guide me through an already overwhelming process to protect my loved one.

She was placed into respite care but as times gone on the home are ignorant to our families wishes and not having power of anything, just appointeeship then it's UPHILL from here.

My mother made a wish 12 years ago just after my dad had died in her arms and as long as I have breath in my body I will continue to fight.

But we love in England and we are a caring nation so why do i have to fight.

Well If you have read this far Thank you

I guess I'm hoping for anyone who has personally taken on the might of the NHS and would be happy to share their journey

I live in hope

As once told

He who has hope has everything.
Hi Gary and welcome to the forum. You sound to be in great distress, for which you have my sympathy, but I can't understand from your post what the problem is exactly.
I understand that your Mum is in respite (which is usually temporary).
She made a request or wish some years ago - but you don't say what that was.
I surmise that you haven't got Power of Attorney.
You feel that the NHS isn't listening to you - but you don't say about what, or what decision you feel has been made.
If the Home is 'ignorant of the families' wishes', that actually means they are not aware of them, or perhaps you mean to say they are apparently ignoring your wishes?
Their first duty is to the wellbeing of the resident and perhaps they feel that whatever your wishes are, they are not in her best interests.
Perhaps if you explained a little more there will be someone here who can advise, or who has been in a similar position.
If your Mum isn't able, through lack of capacity, to grant you Power of Attorney then you could apply to the Court of Protection. I believe it's quite a long process but maybe worth looking into?
I would also look into the possibility of having an advocate of some kind to attend the meeting with you and also to take notes.
I hope you get the result you believe Mum would want now.
Welcome to the forum. As you mention Care to be Different, I presume you are having problems concerning continuing healthcare? I know it can be hard. What exactly is the problem?