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Wondering how or if others manage to fit in work with care - Carers UK Forum

Wondering how or if others manage to fit in work with care

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
I would say Dad has Vascular Dementia rather than AZ and is still continent, but shuffles around rather precariously and very slowly so doesn't actualy do anything between to and fro to the commode, bathrooma nd lap of the house on good days.
I do everything but have some care help for half an hour every morning.
I work myself (yes more care work so busmans holiday) and although I only do a couple of hours (equals 3 to 3.5 hrs away from home most days) it feels like I never stop and wondering if I would be better cutting my hours. It's a nonsense anyway financially as only earn what I pay out.
Finally getting to the reason of this post- do other people who care for a person with dementia full time manage to work (yes I know that'sa bit of a contradiction) If so how many hours do you manage in a typical week and what kind of shift pattern works for you? If you abandoned working all together what stage was your PWD at and what tipped the balance?
I was self employed whilst having two part time carees who didn't live with me, so lots of travelling too. Come hell or high water, I had a magazine to write quarterly. Sometimes that meant staying up and printing at 1am!
Can't answer your very SPECIFIC questiom on a personal experience basis Henrietta, sorry. YOu see I had to take early retirement in 1995 due to his PHYSICAL ill health (mostly the brittle type one diabetes management) and the dementia did not really kick in until after his first stroke in 2000. Diagnosis was much much later still.by which time I was there for him anyway. He was not safe alone.......1995 ...so that is when I made the decision,

Unsure how our replies can help you. In general terms I suggest the reason most people stop work is when we feel our caree (piglet!) is no longer SAFE on his/her own and discover that appropriate alternative options just don't exist for us.

I don't think it matters if the caree has a dementia, or end stage heart failure, or galloping lurgues of non specific origin (joke) or Aids or end stage cancer or Wotever....

It's decided on concerns about safety......and the lack of alternative appropriate care..

Am I making sense? Tired and thumping head lol

Or have I got hold of the wrong end of the stick (again!!!!!!!!) ??? Lol
Yes, my wife and I both managed to work full time whilst caring for her Dad.
We made full use of a day centre placement provided by our local authority, as well as employing a housekeeper/carer to fuss over him when we were at work, make him lunch, do the ironing and so on.
It was a juggle, but it worked. When it became too much - having a child with a disability as well - we found him a good nursing home and visited regularly.
Actually we have both been juggling work and care for over 25 years, and we still are. After a few decades it seems normal!
Hi Henrietta
I think the words 'juggle and balance' are key here. It's when they turn into 'struggle and imbalance' that something needs to change and only you will know when that is for you.
Work even for afew hours doesn't just bring money, it brings self-worth, gives a break from just being at home and access to other people. Without that time there is a danger of isolation. There's also the potential problem of perhaps not being able to return to work once your personal caring responsibilities are over, maybe not so much in your position.
So no easy answer, it is a different decision for each of us.
Forgot to say...
Sounds like you need more 'you time' rather than less work.

For me a timetable of part time work plus some definite, allocated 'me' time such as yoga, a coffee with friends etc is vital. That way I can be a good carer most of the time rather than a tired, stressed out one all the time.
It is easier caring for a young adult, he doesn't need 24/7
Thank you all for your replies,
Mrs average, I do try and get me time, weekly Pilates, weekly lunch with old friend plus coffees out with other friends and work colleagues, daily (if I'm not too knackered) dog walks but she is old so can cope with just the garden occasionally.
Probably spend ages on computer- as you can tell!. I guess it is all crammed in though and I just whir from one thing to the next and the job is doing all things mentioned above but financially only paying the half hour of care Dad has each day.
Danicingintherain, I guess dad can still be left safely for a few hours so we haven't got there yet
Scally- no way on earth I could ever get Dad to Day Centre or anything similar.
I've got a 4 or 5 hour respite carer outing next Saturday -coach trip to museum but having to plan for private carer to come in for a couple of hours in the middle mostly to sort dog out and make dad lunch which saves me having to add an hour on to trip each way via the dog sitter . I will also have to deal with a load of verbal earche for hours from Dad and protests that he doesn't need feeding and doesn't want anyone in the house and he can just wait for me to get back etc.It just seems such a palava to go out anywhere and sometimes I feel like climbing the walls.
I have a feeling that if you do get 'me time' you are not really quite there yet? Worries about your dad constantly there. I remember when hubby was home, before the diagnosis, he wasn't himself, I would go out, not enjoy anything, but dread what I may go home to. Lived my life full of anxiety. Even now he is well cared for, I get the anxiety kicks, but go out determined to enjoy friends company. Am getting there. I hope you will too.
Henrietta - I worked full time when my kids were at school and then had a change and worked part time until about 4 years ago. I could never work now although I'd rather like to. My 92 year old Mum has Alzheimer's and my adult daughter has Aspergers and learning difficulties so they both need me a lot and also my services as their driver.

I dont think most employers would look kindly on someone who had to nip off to attend to carees do you? :lol:

I have done OK in the last few years selling stuff on EBay actually and it's a bit of fun seeing how much people will pay for things. Sadly I don't think I'll ever be in paid employment again.
Hi Penny
Interesting that should mention EBay. I often get back from work and think what I could have been listing on ebay instead of working.
I used to sell on ebay a fair bit but it never seems to reach the top of my to do list at the moment- now shopping on ebay is a different matter :lol:
I really should get back into it but I changed my heap of junk scanner from HP to another heap of junk scanner Canon and they are both far more tedious and troublesome than an old scanner I used to have so have put me off. Perhaps a New Years Resolution is needed.