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webby update - Carers UK Forum

webby update

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
not been on here for a long time,mum is now 87 and been doing pretty good recently,i decided to take her on a trip to meet relatives about 150 miles after few days realised it might have been to much, we have been doing the trip 3x a year ,brought her back early,next day she wasnt good pretty confused and refused to get out of bed after 2 doctor call outs they think it is a water infection,the problem is her refusal to get out of bed without screaming match i manage to get her out but bit of struggle did have nhs nurses coming in 3 times a day but decided to stop it as they were just doing general jobs that i do for her some would refuse to handle her one dedcided to try pull her out with arms till i stopped her,she has finished her meds, now i always find it confuses her more when she has meds for a few days after,so im hoping she eventually will get up for herself again,anyone else had same problems-webby
Apologies if I'm getting hold of the wrong end of the stick here, but would it matter so much if she didn't get out of bed ? (That would be, however, if she still managed to get out of bed to get to the loo/comode!). Presumably these days when she is up and about she spends most of her time sitting down in a chair of some kind?

Or is it just easier for you if she does get up.

Sorry if I'm sounding flippant, which I don't mean to be, only that as they get very old, I find that more and more I think 'look, if that's what they want to do, then let them.' Not getting up would be a 'bad thing' for us, but maybe for the very old, like our mum, folloowing orthodox conventions such as 'wake up, get up, eat up' etc may just not make any material differnce to their state of body nand mind.

just a thought, Jenny.
Hi Webby, and welcome back,

My mum has had several UTIs and chest infections and after each one, it has taken a little longer for the confusion to settle. Unfortunately in some cases it can also worsen the dementia if that is what indeed she has. I'm afraid only time will tell if this settles. Has she finished her course of anti-biotics?

As an aside, I wouldn't be too quick to dismiss any outside carers; they may give you a break too. Do you get any time off?

Take care, Anne x
thanks jenny and anne,jenny shes ussualy pretty active likes to go day centre 3 times a week its not like her at all,anne she has just finished 5 day course of penecillan it always knocks her about more then water infection,i dont get much help my brothers idea of help is to come over once a week ussualy for one evening and thats it ,even though he is a carer in dementia home!i did have good private carer which ment could take odd weekend off although wasnt cheap she then texted me demanding 3x times the amount which i couldnt afford and also let me down when i had booked her to go to wedding
Like Anne's mum, my mum is the same.
I'm sorry your carer has let you down.
Its hard is t it?
yes sure is just spent half n hour with her trying to persuade her to roll over on back as her arm is under her to no avail,i hate trying to get her up as she screams and fights me its not like her at all she is ussually really placid n,im just hoping its the meds effecting her not the dementia getting worst
yes you do feel on your own to make it worst my brother and sister in law are dementia carers!