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Lashing out - Carers UK Forum

Lashing out

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
We now feel that Mum will have to go into care. We have tried so hard to make it work with us, but she is becoming quite aggressive, doesn't sleep well, and during a recent respite stay we were asked to remove her from the Home as she had been hitting other residents.

Our chosen Home is a residential one, with dementia unit. Should they be able to cope with this sort of behaviour? As you can imagine I am a little nervous of asking them before any pre-admission assessment is done as they may just say no straight away. Where do people go if they have such behavioural issues?

Any thoughts?
Hi Ellie,

I would be inclined to talk to Mum's GP (or her Geriatric Pyschiatrist) first and get his advice.There are secure dementia units but it would be better if you knew what is causing your Mum to lash out at other people - fear ? anger ?

She may need assessing by the Mental Health team and perhaps medication could help control her aggression ?
There's a useful section on the website www.scie.org.uk about aggression in dementia.
I found it very helpful in explaining where the aggression comes from and ways of dealing with it, they also have lots of other useful stuff about helping someone with dementia. From the homepage of this website, click on 'dementia gateway'.
Definitely agree that you should ask for advice from Geriatric Psychiatrist (GP's sometimes don't have much knowledge). Is your mum treated by the Memory Clinic - the nurses there are really helpful about behaviour problems. Is your mum on any medication??
good luck, Lesley x
Hi Ellie,

Fully understand where are coming from , and the feelings and emotions you and the family are and will go through... I had to put my mum into care in August last year exactly because of her aggression and violence. My mums Geriatric Psychiatrist has been fantastic, she was prescribed Memantine which helped...but basically the care facility need to have the trained staff and enough to cope with those who have very challenging behavior and sadly not all do..

There are advanced behavioral team that can advise homes on dealing with this, but like all things it is vital that early intervention is sought by them ( not always the case) another issue that may come up is once medicated in a care home if they refuse to take the meds, all the care home staff can do is ask again and so long as the person refuses there is nothing the home will do, the same applies to personal care as well, if they refuse the home accept it , record it and just allow it to continue until such times as the person agrees...

Go round and visit the homes you are considering at different times of the day, and different days of the week, read the CQC website and any reviews on them, check the homes web site if they have one and ask on here in case anyone has used that home or company..

Hi Ellie,
What I would do after past experiences is google the name of the care home and then add the word 'complaints' and see what comes up. Sometimes events have made the papers and you'll find stuff out that way.

I have been complaining for 6 years to CQC about an issue, but it's still not on their website! Ask your local Alzheimers Society if they can give an indication as to the best local homes, but remember the best may be full with a waiting list. They might, however, have a day service facility, or some dedicated respite beds - a good way of seeing if the home is suitable too.