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The Good, the bad and the ugly of dementia! - Page 31 - Carers UK Forum

The Good, the bad and the ugly of dementia!

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
385 posts
Happy Birthday, Sajehar mum, for tomorrow.

Crocus, those pesky children get everywhere. Only last year they invaded mum's house, moved into the attic AND ate all the cream crackers. They have a lot to answer for!
Happy birthday to your mum sajehar :lol:
I know how much she loves flowers - Ill bet she was amazed B)
I can live with being a triffid if my mother can get joy from them. And she did.... I promised her that the perfume she likes so much from these lillies will overwhelm her; like it does me.

I have no idea what I'm saying to her... but I know by giving her flowers, albeit prematurely, I did the right thing.

How is it that flowers mean so much?
How is it that flowers mean so much?
'cos it's something that we rarely buy for ourselves and they have a language all of their own - like Red Roses for love and Rosemary for remembrance :)
Although I don't post daily I do read daily and this thread always makes me smile and it also is most relevant to our current situation ............... I take my Mum out for a drive and call into the local supermarket everyday, we don't need to shop every day but the keeping to routine always seems to keep Mum more settled. Part of that routine is every day she buys a cheap bunch of flowers... she was always very house-proud (sadly not any more) and was quite good with flowers so she spends hours arranging the flaming things when we get home, which isn't a problem. I f we drive through the countryside wherever we are she always points to a house (any house) and says I used to visit a lady a lived there, we could be in an area we have never driven through before but Mum always has, in her head, been there. I used to think she'd started to lie, which I hated because we've always been brought up to tell the truth but after researching dementia I realised that it is part of her illness and I just go along with it.... A day in the life of a carer for someone with dementia hey.... I often say to my Hubby "No wonder I'm going daft as well" :D :D
I’m so glad I gave mum her triffid (Spell Checker says Traffic) flower arrangement a day early. Not only did she get the enjoyment of the triffid lilies the evening before her birthday but, come the morning of her actual birthday, she’d forgotten all about them, and enjoyed them all over again (if you see what I mean.)

I’m a bit disappointed that my brothers didn’t make more of a fuss; any fuss actually.. I appreciate they have things to do, etc. But this is likely to be mum’s last birthday.

In the end I covered for them saying that we’d all chipped in for the flowers just to make her feel better (and it worked too!)

“I knew you couldn’t afford those flowers on your own.”

But I did.

She perked up no end, but I really resent that I had to lie.

I want the gift of my flowers to be from me.

Is that unreasonable?

I think maybe I’m becoming very childish. I just want to throttle my brothers.
I knew she would love the flowers - and twice the value too! :lol:
Sajehar wrote:I think maybe I’m becoming very childish. I just want to throttle my brothers.
I think weve all got relatives like that. There are times when I could cheerfully throttle my brother too. :dry:
I’m a bit disappointed that my brothers didn’t make more of a fuss; any fuss actually..
reminded me of this old saying

"A son is a son till he takes a wife; a daughter's a daughter till the end of her life"

most men just don't 'get it' do they ?
We have a son and daughter like that Sajehar - you aren't being childish. Your mum is blessed to have you looking after her - very kind of you to "lie" in order to make her feel better - but it is a shame and no wonder you feel resentful.
I also wanted to throttle my father.

My mum loves receiving mail – but she never does unless it’s from the hospital – and spends ages opening it, working out which glasses to use to read it, etc, etc.

I stuck stamps on mum’s birthday cards from me and dad, and faked postmarks with a dead thin pen.

If ever I end up in a POW camp; I will make an ace forger!!!

But my father totally ignored the envelope I’d prepared, and just plonked it in her lap!

I could’ve strangled him too!

Judge: So why did you strangle your brothers?

Me: Because they forgot my mother’s birthday.

Judge: Why did you strangle your father?

Me: Because he forgot to put a card in an envelope.

In the meantime, I’ve read the Riot Act to them all.

Am I pissing in the wind?
385 posts