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Carers UK Forum • Sad and unable to cope
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Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Tue Feb 11, 2020 9:34 pm
by Yasmine_1904
I know that I already posted the other day, but i need to vent.

My nan has deteriorated so much in the last week and a bit, today she was at her ultimate worst yet. Now I cannot cope with looking after her, plus i have been having a sore throat cough and cold which is taking it out of me.
We do have a gp appointment in monday but that is a few days away (one of her daughters is coming too) and god knows what kind of short term help we can get and how quickly we can get it.
Ultimately we would like to get her into a hospice as those are free, or failing then a nursing home.
I am just really struggling and the help cannot come soon enough. :(

Re: Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:27 pm
by Melly1
Yasmine,
Don't wait for Monday's appointment - book an emergency appointment for tomorrow and if she can't be seen call 999. She needs her urine testing ASAP for a urine infection as she might antibiotics and treatment. Explain her sudden decline and your concerns.

She will only be considered for hospice care if she needs palliative care and is near end of life. She can be assessed for residential care in a nursing home. She may qualify for Continuing Health Care which would mean her care would be free.

However, the most important thing is first to get her medical treat to rule out/treat her for a urine infection. Do not underestimate how seriously this can affect an older person. Look at the links others have posted on your other thread.

Melly1

Re: Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Tue Feb 11, 2020 10:34 pm
by bowlingbun
I agree, 999 is the answer. Someone else o the forum did this at the weekend and a serious problem was discovered in hospital!. Feel proud of all the care you have given. Sadly, residential care is inevitable in later stages. Are you worried about the cost? Charges only take into consideration how much she can afford, then topped up by Social Services. Make sure you pack an overnight bag now. Keep in touch, we will support you through this difficult time.

Re: Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2020 11:16 am
by Yasmine_1904
So today i struggled to get her out of bed, she struggled to maintain her weight and walk even with a frame. Struggled to get her to the bathroom and she was stooping lower and lower. She with difficulty put herself on the edge of bath, trying hold on to the frame. She couldn't keep herself up and i couldn't help so i got her on the floor and called 999. In the night she had taken her covers off si had hypothermia.
She is in hospital getting fluids, tests and such like.

Re: Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2020 12:15 pm
by Sally_17031
Hey - sorry to hear that. But well done for getting help. Now look after yourself.

Have you considered what will happen when she is ready to be released from hospital? Now might be the time to find a nursing home for her if you are struggling?

Re: Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2020 12:28 pm
by Melly1
Well done, you have done the right thing.

Rest up today and catch up on sleep.

Then read up on hospital discharges and continuing health care (CHC) funding. Make sure she is properly assessed for CHC before she is discharged from hospital.

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... f-hospital

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... f-hospital

If you feel her care needs are more than one person (you) can provide it's time for some tough decisions. Do you want to carry on carrying with up to four daily care visits assisting or is time for her to receive residential care.

Melly1

Re: Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2020 3:00 pm
by Yasmine_1904
Melly1 wrote:
Wed Feb 12, 2020 12:28 pm
Well done, you have done the right thing.

Rest up today and catch up on sleep.

Then read up on hospital discharges and continuing health care (CHC) funding. Make sure she is properly assessed for CHC before she is discharged from hospital.

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... f-hospital

https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic ... f-hospital

If you feel her care needs are more than one person (you) can provide it's time for some tough decisions. Do you want to carry on carrying with up to four daily care visits assisting or is time for her to receive residential care.

Melly1
Thanks

Re: Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2020 11:06 am
by Anne001
You did exactly the right thing, Yasmine. Now that she is being looked after in hospital, it would be an excellent time for you to visit some nursing homes. You will then know what is available in your area if you need one.

Thinking of you, a very difficult time for you x

Re: Sad and unable to cope

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2020 7:26 am
by Yasmine_1904
My nan will be taken off the meds at some point today and we will get her oxygen mask off.