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oh boy she hates me - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

oh boy she hates me

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
190 posts
Tim,

next time you are tempted to tell her the truth, however calm and rational she appears, remember what happened this a.m. and DON'T do it! It's not worth the agro and upset!

If the part time GP isn't in, ask what days/ times she is working over the next couple of weeks, make a note on your calendar and then you will know when to try again. Alternatively, you might be able to book a call with her, in advance.

No one minds you posting, it's what the forum is for!

Melly1
Today I'm her brother so I decided to sit in the garden out of the way. She is still on about the non existent dog and our real dog is getting confused.

Doc is not available till Monday morning so will try and speak to her then. I am developing an extremely thick skin.
Mum had a sleep in the chair, the real dog woke her up with lick of the face and she said where did you find him, so I just played along. Hope this is the end of the episode after me being a traitor and the devil.
Tim_1412 wrote:Mum had a sleep in the chair, the real dog woke her up with lick of the face and she said where did you find him, so I just played along. Hope this is the end of the episode after me being a traitor and the devil.
Enjoy it while it lasts. :)

Melly1
Mum laughing at you been framed, shame it isn't on longer.
Think about getting SkyPlus or similar, so she can enjoy the same programme repeatedly. Or see if there is a Dvd of some of the programmes. You could even play them when she is having difficulty sleeping. It's what I do!
We have a freeview recorder but she is quick to ask if she has seen it before.
That's when you need to tell a little love lie!
I just saw Millionaire is starting again on Challenge and told her on her way to bed and she said oh good I like that program. Have already marked YBF to record this and next week, better mark Millionaire too. :D
Tim,

I was the one who started "love lies", I think. I made up all sorts of reasons why the children were in the basement (we had neither a basement nor children) and the obsession which lasted for six months about our stepdad (there was no stepdad). And his fancy woman. It drove me mad and I frequently could not remember what I had said to try to calm mum down. She also became very aggressive if contradicted.

Some simple rules - do not try to tell the truth. It is only your version of the truth and she knows that she is right! Apologise and take the blame. Enter into her world as much as possible. It is easier in the long run. Try to distract, easier said than done, I know. And come on here to vent as much as possible.

Incidentally what type of dog is "missing"? Could it be visiting old people in hospital who have no dog of their own? Or be doing police training because of its very keen sense of smell? Could turn into a discussion about lonely people in hospital with no children or dogs needed for um Special duties. You may need to get creative. :D

Good luck, Anne
190 posts