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oh boy she hates me - Page 17 - Carers UK Forum

oh boy she hates me

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
190 posts
That sounds good-perhaps they have tweeked her meds and made a difference, get a good nights sleep and see what tomorrow brings
I think they have taken her off Doniprezil but this could be just a good day.
Mum had a better day today according to the nurses, although she was worried who was going to wash the hospital bed sheets when I visited.

The mental health review hasnt taken place and there are no beds according to staff at the moment, but she seems much more settled in herself and this is the second day running since they took her off memory tablets.

Its a relief to see mum happier and see what tomorrow brings.
good news then :D :D
Plans have changed. Rather than go into a psychiatric bed they are starting mum on some new meds and I had to negotiate a couple of more days in the current ward to see if she tolerates the new meds. She has had her review and has been stable for a couple of days so they are planning on sending her home. Ward manager needs to confirm the extra couple of days with his managers and I really need to talk to the social worker about help at home as she has been deemed without mental capacity. Anyone know what help may be available at home?
What a farce this is turning into. I got a call telling me there would be a discharge meeting tomorrow at 2.30 on the ward and no one knows anything about it. The ward manager has rang round and he cant find anyone that knows.

He recommends that I have a care package in place before mum comes home and I agree with him but so far no one from Social Services has contacted me.
Tim,

Please look on Carers UK website and look under practical tips for the leaflet on discharge from hospital. The assessment needs to be done by Social Services BEFORE mum leaves hospital. Ask to speak to the hospital social worker who should arrange this. I would also suggest being present for the assessment otherwise mum is likely to pull the wool over their eyes.

good luck, Anne
We had the SS assessment today and the social worker said she was border line capacity, mum didn't want carers in.

She is to have another assessment tomorrow without me to see if she remembers what happened today. I have asked for help with her and they are considering two times a day lunchtime and bedtime. But it all depends on mum.

Tonite she was quite lucid and calm and was having a good conversation with my cousin from Birmingham who has come to help.
Of course mum doesn't want carers in, because she has no idea of what she's putting you through. It is NOT all up to mum, it's up to you, whether or not you want to do this any more, and the terms under which you will continue to help her. How on earth can they say she has "borderline" capacity?!?! It's obvious from your thread that she has delusions and abusive at times. Can I suggest that you show them your thread over the last few weeks? What about the hospital having to call you out last week or the week before, and the time they had to call in security??? Have they done the NHS Continuing Healthcare Assessment yet? Twice a day might be OK for mum's needs, but that makes no allowance for you getting time off.
Absolutely. tIm, at this stage it is not about what mum wants but what you and she needs. Sadly these are normally very different things.

Remember to argue for a provision for respite care too. Your needs are equally important as mum's, if not more so.
190 posts