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oh boy she hates me - Page 15 - Carers UK Forum

oh boy she hates me

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
190 posts
Well its been an interesting week this week with mum mainly having episodes at evening time not recognising me despite me showing her my driving licence with picture and her thinking she had been kidnapped hammering on doors and windows shouting for the police. I was told to disappear for 30 minutes upstairs out of the way until she calms down which seemed to make her worse.

Yesterday we had a visit from 4 people, a psychiatrist, her GP and 2 social workers who gave mum a mental assessment and started her on memory meds. Mum was having a good day when they visited and they also said hospital was the last resort as mum would probably be more distressed in a ward than somewhere she knows.

Today we had a drama with her waterworks she said she couldnt stop going so the Doc visited and put her on penecillan as she had a temperature as a precaution. Later we had another social worker for care and carers assessment. I was offered respite but mum wasnt keen to leave for a week as she knew where she was then. Later this evening came the time when she didnt recognise me again and said she had to go to her mothers house (no longer there) and 300 miles away. Not believing me she rang my cousin to discover what I was sayin was correct,

At about 10pm I managed to get some meds into her and she became sleepy and said can I stay here but I had to show her to her bedroom as she had forgotten.

Its a heart breaking diesease and wrecks lives both patient and carer especially when she gets so depressed she wants to die on the spot and half an hour seems like 3 hours to her.
Is it normal for a Social Worker to ask about a carers benefits?
A relatively quiet weekend spoiled by tonight when she decides she doesnt recognise me and wants me to leave and then she decides she wants to call the police. I call the crisis helpline but no joy telling me to wait it out, but she decided to go funny at 10pm which is usually bedtime and there is no sign of her getting tired.

Crisis team did ask me if I needed support and would email the elderly team but Im not sure what support they can offer.
Crisis team turned up at midnight and didnt leave until 4am. After many phone calls they have had to request an ambulance to take her to the nearest A&E for physical test before a mental health assessment can be done as the crisis team gave her an extra dose of anxiety meds and she is at risk of falls.

This is really upsetting and not what I wanted for my mother and I wouldnt be surprised if she doesnt forgive me but I cant monitor her 24 hours.
Tim, sorry to hear your news, just had to write. This isn't what either of you wanted, but it's what mum NEEDS right now. Make sure you get some rest now, if you are too wound up, ask your GP to give you something gentle to help.
Went to see her this afternoon and she was talking normally, said she had been given the 3rd degree by doctors and they have taken lots of bloods.

She is in the emergency assessment unit and is in a room on her own with tv and en suite. I feel relieved but guilty because she is so lonely with only the odd nurse or doctor popping in.

The nurse gave me an update on the way out and said mums bloods were spiking and she has to have an ECG so they need to rule in or out any physical ailments first before she gets a mental assessment but it sounds like she has already had one.

I just need sleep.
I just need sleep
Then make sure you use this time to rest and hopefully sleep too.

Melly1
Hope you get some rest, Tim.

my mum's dementia reached the stage where my care was not enough. She needed care by well rested people who could take breaks PLUS me overseeing everything. It was certainly not something we wanted but she did need. Incredibly hard to accept but I do wonder if your mum may be reaching that stage too?
I was thinking I might have to get someone in for night times, we will see.

Just been visiting tonight and mum seems quite content where she is. We had some tears on the phone earlier when mum wanted to come home but she seems quite calm tonight.

She recognised me as someone she knows but was asking for her 14 year old son and I had to remind her she was in hospital several times because she thought someone else would want their bed back. She did remember a name of my dad's friend who was asking after her and he knows of a fund that may help with modifications to the home to make it easier for mum which is handy.

I am feeling a lot better today seeing mum content with older people around her in the ward as when she first went in she was in a single room and hated it.
just back from hospital and she was getting a bit upset when i left saying tim dont leave me here and she has it in for the nurse on her ward.

Will call later to see if they have settled her down as one of the nurses said just go.
190 posts