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Norrms - Page 93 - Carers UK Forum


For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
956 posts
You've moved me to tears, and that doesn't happen often. Thanks for your thanks to carers. I'm sure it will mean a lot to the readers and posters on this forum
Bless you
Bless you Norms.
Will you do something for me? Please will you give my namesake, your dear wife, a big hug from me and no doubt from all the other Carers on this forum.
MrsAverage wrote:Norms
You've moved me to tears, and that doesn't happen often. Thanks for your thanks to carers. I'm sure it will mean a lot to the readers and posters on this forum
Bless you
Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Elaine wrote:Bless you Norms.
Will you do something for me? Please will you give my namesake, your dear wife, a big hug from me and no doubt from all the other Carers on this forum.
Thank you will do

Have you ever got lost ? Have you ever stopped the car after a wrong turning and thought ? Where the heck am i ? As you look around nothing seems familiar, you dont recognise anything? Even though you might have driven the same route so many time`s, just that one wrong turn has now completely thrown you?

Then you realise you may be late for wherever it is your going, your eyes strain to make sense of your surroundings, your heartbeat goes a little quicker and sweat starts to appear on your brow, "Should you ask directions ? Or will that make you look daft ? Especially if where you are going is just around the corner, you sit there and begin to panic a little............................

Have you ever been on holiday and lost your bearings ? You look for the landmarks you said would remind you on the way back, nothing comes to mind as you walk up and own a street you are sure you have just walked, then suddenly a thought enters your head! OMG Wheres my car? You think you know where you parked it, but you cant remember because its a strange town, a strange place, you start to panic, the WHAT IF`S start to race through your mind

What if its been stolen
What if they find out where i live ?
What if they find the spare keys to the house ??

I have so many friends and family , who should i ring? or will it just make me look like an idiot if i tell anybody???



Welcome to MY WORLD !!.....................................

Cc Norrms Mc Namara
Diagnosed with dementia nine years ago, have a wonderful family and so many beautiful friends


Please share
Last Night............

All i did was put pepper on the wrong meal, thats all !! Elaine doesn't like pepper and politely asked "Why did you do that? not in a bad way or a horrible way, just a question thats all, THIS, is what happened next.......................

BECAUSE I AM STUPID !! THAT`S WHY !! I screamed at the top of my voice !! STUPID STUPID STUPID i kept repeating, I was shaking with temper,(anybody who really knows me will know this is so unlike me) i was ranting and raving over something so simple, just a simple mistake followed by a simple innocent question,

I HATE IT WHEN people treat me like a child!! HATE IT HATE HATE IT I carried on saying!! (I have no idea where that come either ???)

Then i went into complete and utter meltdown, not saying a word, eating my meal in complete silence, which i had now swapped with Elaine after slamming the two plates down on the table so hard its a wonder there was any food left on them to eat.

Shortly after, my Elaine, MY DARLING ANGEL asked me to sit with her on the settee for a much needed cuddle, and believe me we needed it, she had managed the situation perfectly by not responding, but nobody on this earth would have blamed her if she had reacted differently, as nobody should if this ever happens to them.

Please dont blame yourselves if you get mad as carers / caregivers, YOU ARE HUMAN !! I have no words for how much i despise this disease, i have said them all, i know acting like this is not the real me, but i sometimes wonder these days, WHO IS the real me ???


Please share if this helps

Norrms , always promising to share everything with you, warts and all. xxxxxxxxxxxx
Have just cried. For you, for Elaine, for my lovely husband, and for the very few times I've reacted to his vascular dementia in a negative way.
Thanks for sharing, and ((( (hugs to you both)))

Suddenly!! A distorted face appeared before my eyes, i had only closed them for a split second !! But FLASH !! it appeared, a horrible, distorted face that was so angry, and yet so hurt, was so sorrowful, yet full of venom, was so real, yet couldnt have been. Then it was gone, as quick as it appeared but just for a split second it looked like a negative as i blinked my eyes, trying to rid myself of what i had just seen, until the next time, that is.


Is this the real face of dementia ? is this what it looks like to people like myself who has been touched with this awful disease? More importantly ? Does this account for me and so many others Jumping out of our skin for no reason and yet just to embarrassed, or unable to speak about it??

So many questions my friends, So very many questions ...........................

Norrms Mc Namara (Diagnosed with dementia NINE years ago, and still trying to figure it out )

Please share if you wish too
Seems So Long Ago

As we turned the corner on the country road towards the garden centre, I put the radio on. Just starting to play was Mr Beau Jangles, one of my favorites. As I listened to how he had it all, how he sang and danced, and how, even now when all was lost he could still hear the crowd asking him to do more, I felt deflated as I realised how much we had in common.

My mind raced back as fast as light to a time where I would run into the disco, straight up to the DJ and ask for my favorite track (Whatever it was at the time) I remember dancing away until my feet hurt, only stopping for light refreshment and to wipe my brow. I had forgotten how much I used to love to dance, how free I felt as I expressed myself in a way only I could!! (there`s a clue there and how the youthful blood used to run through my body as I jived, bopped and Strutted my stuff to the tunes of the Top Twenty of the day !!

Then I came back to earth with a THUD!! I remembered my illness of Dementia and my inability to remember most things, how it had stopped me from expressing myself, how it had stopped me being independent and going out to work to provide for my family as I had done for so many years. As I looked down at my hands they where white! Not because I was so cold but because I had clenched my fists so tight and was so frustrated!!! Where has it all gone?? WHY ME WHY ME? Screamed through my head time after time, the noise in my head sounded like a platoon of marching soldiers as my blood pressure rose and just as I felt I was going to scream, we reached the top of the hill, and the view in front of me was ???


I was looking up, towards Dartmoor, the rolling hills bathed in winter sunshine and yet tufts of snow were still visible right on the top of the highest hill. All around seemed so calm and surreal, and as I watched as the clouds cast it shadows across the moors only to be replaced by more rays of sunshine, as it did, I began to understand.
Those dark clouds I had just seen casting their ugly shadows across the lush green fields are just the same as the mood that had just passed through my body and mind, only to be replaced by the warmth and brightness of the sun that breathed new life into my body and hope in my heart.

“We cannot bring the past back my friends, but we can bring the future forward”

Norman Mc Namara (diagnosed with dementia 9 years ago aged just 50yrs old xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Please share if you wish
ONE DAY SOON .................

Sometimes, just sometimes, i want to runaway. I want to run and run until i cant run anymore. The place i run too?? The hills, the open spaces, the moors where i feel as if i can breathe again, where all around me is peaceful and still, and yet, so far reaching.

I want to scan the earth and look as far as i can see, climb as high as i can , reach the top of wherever i am and SCREAM !! YES SCREAM !!! i want to Scream " I WANT TO BE FREE!! FREE of this awful weight of dementia, Free to do as i like, roam where i want to, spend a night under the stars watching shooting stars and the galaxy unfold before my very eyes. I want to wait excitedly for the the dawn to appear over the mountains in a Golden haze then turning to blue.

I want to feel the wind on my face, and watch the hawks soar higher and higher across the skies with such abandon doing their acrobatics for all to see

I WANT TO LIVE !!!!!!!

Instead ? i am in bed by 8pm or 9pm, i suffer from sundowning during the afternoon and wear my "Concrete overcoat (Depression ) because of my illness of dementia..............................

But one day soon my friends, ONE DAY SOON ? ........................................

Norrms Mc Namara "Diagnosed with dementia 9 years ago aged 50

Please share
956 posts