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No respite care and I can't stop crying - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

No respite care and I can't stop crying

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
If she has a diagnosis of dementia, then you must accept that gradually her mental ability will diminish. I would suggest that you have another assessment so that carers are available once more, and then you should be offered Direct Payments which can be used more flexibly, maybe saved so that the two of you can have a day off together.
As you are working, Social Services should be doing a Carers Assessment for you, looking at what you need to keep working.

The doctor was totally out of order in saying she isn't bad enough for a home yet!! It's nothing to do with him, not his decision to make. If mum couldn't manage in her own home, or in your home without support, then she needs a lot of help. You have a right NOT to care, and that should be respected.

Get the SSD assessments done asap.
Does mum have over £23,000 in savings, or own any property? Just a Yes/No answer will suffice.
She doesn't have savings, just a small property which currently her granddaughter husband and baby live in. To sell the house would mean kicking them out and creating a whole other problem as they cannot afford to rent anywhere. We do accept that she will get worse and one day we will have to sell the house. Her granddaughter is aware but at the moment it helps them out until they can get back on their feet. None of us want to create another issue and it makes mum happy knowing she can help them out. She is also available to help out when she can but they will be at the wedding too and so are any other members of the family (we don't have a big family anyway). I didn't think there would be such a problem just putting mum somewhere for a few days. It's seems like I am asking for the impossible.
She doesn't have savings, just a small property which currently her granddaughter husband and baby live in. To sell the house would mean kicking them out and creating a whole other problem as they cannot afford to rent anywhere. We do accept that she will get worse and one day we will have to sell the house


Expert advice here ... a ticking time bomb ... how long before detonation ?

AGE UK / SHELTER strongly recommended :

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/

https://www.shelter.org.uk/
I contacted Age UK yesterday and they have referred me to their specialist advisers. I rang them and held in the queue for an hour while on my lunch break. I tried again later that afternoon and held for 35 minutes before I had to give up. They are closed by the time I get home so I can only ring when I am at work. I am going to take a day off soon so I can spend more time trying to get through as I will need time to talk to them too.
A positive step.

Like many charities still operating in the front line ... Shelter / Trussells / CAB etc. ... as opposed to those behind ivory towers ... demand for their services comfortably excedes demand ... just be patient ?
You need to find out exactly how her financial position would be treated by Social Services.
So first she should have a Needs Assessment, then a formal Financial Assessment. At the end of this, you should be given a written summary of how much she would have to contribute towards her care, either at home, or in residential care.

Google "Charging for Residential Care" and then look at "Capital Disregards" because under some circumstances, a property can be disregarded when assessing someone's ability to care.
Can your house accommodate a live-in carer? If so, just Google "temporary live in carer" and have a look at what's available. Mum may not like it (or the carer!), but it's only for a couple of days and as long as she's kept safe and given her medications, what's the worst that can happen?

You and your husband absolutely MUST go to your daughter's wedding - you'll regret it forever if you don't.
No a live in carer would be impossible at home, even for a couple of days. In the meantime we are ringing around from home to home to see if any of them can take her for a few days, like I said I have always been happy to pay for this as a few days is at least doable finance wise.
If you are still looking, possibly use a care broker such as CHS Healthcare, they look for care homes for respite and long term according to your preferences and their service is free .

Article below.

https://dementia.livebetterwith.com/blo ... C1&rdrt=uf

Most care homes do offer respite on a weekly basis, most near me minimum stay is a week but some don't take respite cases for less than 3 weeks which is annoying!
e_1907 wrote:
Mon Oct 21, 2019 10:41 am
No a live in carer would be impossible at home, even for a couple of days. In the meantime we are ringing around from home to home to see if any of them can take her for a few days, like I said I have always been happy to pay for this as a few days is at least doable finance wise.
How are you today? Did you manage to find a care home or not?