My 93 year old mother sadly had a fall a week ago and is now in hospital. Before the fall she was showing some signs of dementia but not enough to indicate that she wasn't able to function independently.
Unfortunately since the fall she has become considerably worse (CT scans revealed no obvious brain damage). Other than the bruising and a minor upper cheekbone fracture from the fall she has had a bladder infection which appears to be responding to antibiotics.
Because of the now much worse dementia her short term memory is terrible and she is easily confused.
Every day I speak to her on the phone and every phone call consists of her begging me to take her home and her repeatedly asking me what is wrong with her (and me telling her). This is utterly heartbreaking for me and very upsetting for her. Naturally I can't take her home until the doctors are happy that the infection has abated and even then the doctor has confirmed that she will need 24 hour care every day for the rest of her life so this too needs to be arranged once social services do their thing. This means she will either end up in a care home or, if it can be managed, a live at home carer will be arranged for her at her own home. I do think that she will be much better in her own home.
My query is as follows: how do I handle her repeated queations to take her home? I'm finding it incredibly difficult to find an answer that doesn't upset her and I don't want to have to lie to her.
What can I do? How can you calm down and reassure somebody with dementia who says she is very unhappy (the ward she is on is actually very nice, as are the staff)?
I just don't know how to deal with this. I can't bear to hear her so unhappy and tearful.
She also frequently asks the ward staff for her son (me - I also have a brother in America) and also frequently asks them when she is going home.
I'm convinced that the hospital environment is making her dementia worse.
Thank you
Unfortunately since the fall she has become considerably worse (CT scans revealed no obvious brain damage). Other than the bruising and a minor upper cheekbone fracture from the fall she has had a bladder infection which appears to be responding to antibiotics.
Because of the now much worse dementia her short term memory is terrible and she is easily confused.
Every day I speak to her on the phone and every phone call consists of her begging me to take her home and her repeatedly asking me what is wrong with her (and me telling her). This is utterly heartbreaking for me and very upsetting for her. Naturally I can't take her home until the doctors are happy that the infection has abated and even then the doctor has confirmed that she will need 24 hour care every day for the rest of her life so this too needs to be arranged once social services do their thing. This means she will either end up in a care home or, if it can be managed, a live at home carer will be arranged for her at her own home. I do think that she will be much better in her own home.
My query is as follows: how do I handle her repeated queations to take her home? I'm finding it incredibly difficult to find an answer that doesn't upset her and I don't want to have to lie to her.
What can I do? How can you calm down and reassure somebody with dementia who says she is very unhappy (the ward she is on is actually very nice, as are the staff)?
I just don't know how to deal with this. I can't bear to hear her so unhappy and tearful.
She also frequently asks the ward staff for her son (me - I also have a brother in America) and also frequently asks them when she is going home.
I'm convinced that the hospital environment is making her dementia worse.
Thank you