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My lovely grandmother x - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

My lovely grandmother x

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
Lauren_1909 wrote:
Fri Nov 22, 2019 8:53 am
I went in to see my Nan last night and she is completely back to normal again no wandering no saying strange things, she knows everyone who has visited and completely understands everything that is happening to her and it is heartbreaking.
This is not unusual with dementia sufferers. They'll have better days and worse days, but it won't go away.

I'll give you an illustration from my experience with my mother.

An old friend of hers used to speak with my wife and I about my mother on a regular basis, when she heard about the dementia she arranged to go and stay with her for a weekend.

She arrived on the Saturday and they had a good chinwag etc etc.

Sunday morning she got up first and made tea in the kitchen - my mother the arrived in the kitchen and said "Oh, hello Sylvia, what are you doing here?

Up until that point Sylvia had been wondering what we were talking about as everything had seemed normal the previous day.
I could give lots of examples of the confusion dementia causes.(sadly)
My husband was at middle stage. Had just told me he had been to Scotland. Was actually in a nursing home, with the use of his right arm only. 5mins after, another resident had just been weighed. Staff couldn't work out kiligrams to stones. Quick as flash he told them and he was correct! Much to everyone's amassment. Had many a time where I doubted he actually had vascular dementia, then was soon bought back down to reality.
Treasure the good and lucid times, as they help to get through the difficulties..
It is so sad, Lauren, I went through similar episodes with my mum.

Try to enjoy the good times with her because there will be good times in amidst all the heartache. If nan asks about going home, it might be worth asking her what she likes best about her home, or what she remembers doing there. When my mum mentioned going home, it was to her childhood home that she remembered. Even if your nan cannot go home, you can do much to make her new home as comfortable as possible for her with familiar things around her.

If you have any questions or want to chat, we are here for you.

Anne x
Use a notebook to make notes or buy a camera to take photos of her on her good and calm days. You will be grateful later on.
Hello guys,

2 years on and i’ve just come back to reminisce on the hardest days of my life. Even though thousands of people are going through the same thing you always seem to feel like the only person on the planet with heartache as bad. Last March we lost my lovely grandmother, after spending two months in hospital and being moved to a nursing home she was then kicked out due to behaviour and put back into hospital. Spending hours and hours there and counting the amazing hours I got to spend with her she then fell ill and the doctors didn’t think there was anything wrong except for her amazing bright 1-1 nurse who knew something wasn’t right with her. He begged for a scan and they then found a burst in her intestines, this was the end of feb 2020 on friday 7th they wanted her to undergo an opp which was 50% chance of survival or bed bound. they refused to do this and brought in pale rice care team. i remember thinking WHAT as my nan stuffed her face with a jam doughnut. She fell asleep friday evening after telling me she loved me and i said jt back, she then passed away with me beside her through everything on march 10th. just before covid, no more dementia. She was lucky❤️ and i’m the luckiest person to have spent my life with her when no one else cared. Love you nan sleep tight ❤️ just wanted everyone to know the outcome. This forum got me through the hardest times in my life, thank you all xxxxxx
Hi Lauren, feel proud of the support you gave nan. Sometimes it's difficult to know what to wish for. Clearly she enjoyed that doughnut!