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hugg please - Carers UK Forum

hugg please

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
not sure how much more of this i can take. i will carry on of course, like we all do, but desperately need a hug at the moment. x
Pam, here's a great big (((((((HUG)))))))))) for you. What's the matter, sounds like you are having not just a bad day but a b****y awful one, so take care.
just the continual manipulation by my mum really, and the many times per day phone calls from her saying she is going to kill herself. sometimes its the tablets, now she only has 2 or 3 paracetamol tablets there, sometimes its throw herself under the bus, and she does not go out except when i take her so the threats are not going to happen (hopefully), but she is so so unhappy. The short term memory thing makes life so much worse for her. i call around, we go out for a meal and then literally 5 mins after i have left she is on my mobile phone (how she can dial the number is a mistery to me. obviously she has it written down, but even so) saying i have not seen anybody all day. same thing when the crossroads lady has been, i can watch the clock and know what time the lady leaves and i know 5-10 mins the phone will go and its her saying how lonely and unhappy she is and she is going to take the tablets etc. it seems nothing i can do makes it any better. Social worker says that she is manipulating me. not sure about that, its easy for her to say it. even if she had a carer coming in every morning and evening she would still not remember they have been. there is the offer of a day centre place one day a week, but she will not agree to go even though she told the social worker she would. they are being great and holding the place open, but i am soon going to have to tell them to give it to somebody else. I know there are no answers, but feel so alone with it all. thanks for the hug. x
Hi Pam,

Have a huge virtual hug from me too.

There is very little I can do or say to make this better; I know how tough it can be. I do agree though that your mum sounds very depressed. Would you be able to get any help from her GP? If she was slightly less depressed, maybe the dementia would not be as bad?

Having said that, I do understand. Mum has been telling me that she has had no careworkers coming in all week; strange that they have written in the log twice a day then! She also is flatly refusing to go to a day centre / memory cafe etc. Unfortunately, you can't make an adult do what they refuse ...

Hope things get a bit more manageable for you. One day at a time ...
Anne
x
thanks for your kind words Anne. I know that there is a lot worse off than me, it just got to me this morning. Yes your right she is depressed, but won't go to dr. even if i went without her and the gp prescribed medication, she will not take tablets, never has done. she has been a very lucky lady health wise and not needed to take anything. also she is a very strong willed lady. also physically very strong.

p.s. just edited what i previously wrote as when i read it back, i know i did not mean it, just feeling very low.