Mum died last night from Dementia

[crocus]

Barrowgirl, I was with my MIL when she died, I was holding her hand and stroking her hair, so I could see what happened. For a few hours she had been taking several breaths then there would be a long gap and I wondered if she had gone, only for her to take another large breath and the same cycle would start again. Right at the end she too went blue round her lips and made a noise in her throat - then her face lit up in an enormous smile. She never took another breath and soon started to go white. I was told that the noise she made (the so called "death rattle") didnt mean she was in pain, it was just the way the breathing was stopping.

I hope I havnt upset anyone by posting this.

[barrowgirl]

Thanks Crocus ,I don't think people will be offended.

One thing I wish was that care homes had a guest room for these situations.Sitting in a chair by a bedside all night watching someone is so exhausting,I'd have loved to have a shower and a rest before having to drive off as we weren't local to the care home.
I must be getting on ,I was stiff as a board in the mornings !


B.x

[Robinredbreast]

A while ago I asked "what do people with dementia die of ?" and now I know.She didn't get pneumonia or an infection ,her body just closed down .

At ten last night my mum finally gave in and died. She had been on Oramorph (little doses of oral morphine ) for a while but they no longer helped .The end of life district nurse came and mercifully gave mum an injection of Morphine and Valium etc.After the second injection, she died.We only wish she'd have been released earlier - though of course we were assured it wasn't the injection that killed her ,it was the dementia.We didn't care ,they could have dosed her to oblivion for all we cared ,we just wanted her out of the pain, the blindness and the inability to speak.
Dementia is such a cruel disease ,I am just so grateful she is at last at peace.

I read that the detection of dementia is meant to be speeding up,I just hope a cure can be found soon.Best wishes to all who are coping with loved ones with this condition,

Barrowgirl.x

Dear barrowgirl i am so sorry, please accept my deepest sympathy. Dementia is a cruel disease and i fully understand how 'grateful' you are, for the release from this debilitating disease.

your last sentence has hit home to me now, because, i have noticed changes in my dad who has not, as yet, been diagnosed with any form of dementia.
you are in my thoughts and prayers. RRB x

[poppett]

Sorry to hear your sad news Barrowgirl.

My mum suffered from dementia and latterly cancer before she died peacefully in her own bed in January 2006. She also did the big smiley thing the afternoon before she died, as did my sister in law three years ago.

Take care of yourself.xx

[ladybird]

My thoughts are with you Barrowgirl x

[tracie]

sorry for your news

my father in law has dementia

[Booksey]

I'm so sorry for your loss Barrowgirl.
My dad died from dementia and pneumonia

[Juggler]

So sorry to read your news.
Take care
Jx

[Elaine Hughes]

Newbie to this forum, but would like to offer my condolences too.

[daffy1]

So sorry for your loss. Love & best wishes to you and your family at this difficult time of re-adjustment. I'm sure you have many happy memories of her in times gone past. My mother died when I was 4 and three quarters in early 1940 which was a very difficult time for everyone. I know lots of children are today growing up now without many memories of the person who gave birth to them but there are many avenues of support nowadays.
I am feeling very mixed up at the moment as we had to take my husband who has dementia and parkinsons to hospital on Wednesday night because he had a water infection and on these occasions this happens we are not able to rouse him for anything ie. a drink, eat or move him. Should get the results of all the tests they have done today and see how they are going to start to get him on the move. Last night he was very sleepy and jittery the whole time. He is being feed and seems a long way from the person I had before Wednesday teatime when the above symptoms kicked in.