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For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
Well have just been told Mum is comming home to be cared for at home next thursday, I am terrified. Have been struggling with work, had boyfreind trouble and now this how much can a girl take ?. Feel so guilty as Dad desperatly wants her home so he can be with her and care for her but although i love my Mum to bits i am worried it is going to make us both ill. I already am on anti depressents but have spent last weekend bursting into tears for no reason.
Sory if i am whinging but am so worried about the future.
Well have just been told Mum is comming home to be cared for at home next thursday, I am terrified. Have been struggling with work, had boyfreind trouble and now this how much can a girl take ?. Feel so guilty as Dad desperatly wants her home so he can be with her and care for her but although i love my Mum to bits i am worried it is going to make us both ill. I already am on anti depressents but have spent last weekend bursting into tears for no reason.
Sory if i am whinging but am so worried about the future.
Hi Danny, nice to hear from you.

The reason you are bursting into tears, struggling at work and having boyfriend trouble, is probably all to do with worrying about your Mum coming home. Its understandable, but don't be terrified. I think I am right in saying you will have nurses coming in during the day, so why don't you and your Dad work out a rota about who gets up in the night if needed, so that you aren't both losing sleep. Also as there will be two of you looking after her, maybe you could set aside a few evenings in the week, where you can still go out and see friends/boyfriend etc and your Dad could also have a rest when its your turn to be at home.

I used to worry that if something happened to my Mum whilst I was looking after her, that everyone would blame me and say I wasn't doing a good job, but now I get Mums Doctor to do a house call every few weeks so that he can support me, check on Mum and remind me that I am doing the best I can which, so it seems, is a good job.
You will be brilliant too, its not easy and some bits of the job are truly awful Image , but all you can do is try your best and I'm sure you will. Just see how you both get on.

There will always be someone on here for you to off load onto, we will all support and help you where we can. We all really understand how you feel.

Good luck to you and your Dad Danny, sending you massive hugs, you will be ok. You are doing a wonderful job supporting your Dad.

Bluebird xx
hi Danny

Know where you're coming from - been there,done that and got the T-shirt to boot so you're not alone.

I agree with all Bluebird has said - her advice is always good and she's helped me more than once. You could also try keeping a diary - just for you - where you can write down all the negative things you are feeling, offload it all onto the page; all the things that you feel you can't say out loud - clear them out of your system then shred the pages. It works for me when I'm feeling especially low - particularly on those days when all I want to do is hit out.

But at the end of the day the most important thing to remember is that you are just as special as anyone on this forum and if you want to whinge - then go right ahead.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

susieq
Thank you Susieq, don't forget you have always been there for me too.

Good idea about writing everything down, I find that helps me too. Sometimes I do it on here when I'm replying to a post and then delete it before I post what I should really be saying Image

Thats whats great about this forum Danny, we really are there for each other and we totally understand how you feel. You are not alone in this,

Bluebird xx
Hi Danny

How are you all doing? I wasn't sure which Thursday your Mum was coming home, last or next week.

Thinking of you
Hugs
Bluebird x