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Me again, and again!! - Page 2 -Carers UK Forum

Me again, and again!!

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
Henrietta wrote:
Tue Oct 17, 2017 6:56 pm
Good to see you back Mary- you have been missed. Celebrate the small triumphs.
Thank you my dear. small triumphs are what matters - even if they get smaller and smaller :dry:

No advice but was glad to see you back but sorry for what you are having to deal with.

I agree in theory about 'telling' not 'asking' but sometimes people with dementia can be very mentally abusive so this may not work for everyone. I am glad you have a good male carer who can offer you some kind of back up Mary.

Sending hugs.
Telling can hit a 'stubborn-wall' too! My friend with her father living with her says her dad can get incredibly stubborn sometimes and just WILL NOT DO what he needs to do! He can be extremely 'wilful'

(Conversely, he likes things done for him when he wants them done - she had her son staying with her and was doing something 'urgent' for the son, and the dad did NOT like it, and when my friend said, 'You'll have to wait a moment Dad, I've got to do this for xxx' and the dad actually said 'It should be ME first, always!'.....

:( :( :(

PS - Helena - nice to see you here again - how are things? I hope the silence has been for 'good' reasons not 'bad' ones....hope all the cats are OK!!!! (Mine is snoozing before my very eyes on my fleecy bed jacket...)(er, correction, HIS fleecy bed jacket it seems!) :)
I suppose the perfect art is putting forward a single idea without alternatives and making them think it was their idea in teh firdt place LOL.
Oh Henrietta - you have the patience of a saint. I do not. But yes I am sure that making them think it is 'their' idea is a way forward. I just do not seem to be able to get the hang of it though... on the other hand he is very awkward.

Still struggling Jenny but kittens are fantastic - 12 weeks on Monday and due for their second vet check and jab. Hope to show them in November.

Husband not good. Had accident Tuesday Cosmocol saga goes on and on.................can just about cope with that but he was dozing and did not know it had happened!!!! I was searching for a stinky cat litter tray (sorry TMI)

He would not let me put the pain patch on yesterday as 'he could do it himself and does not have dementia'. Ok backed off. But today it is not on and packet of patches not in usual place.Thank god it was the last one and seeing GP tomorrow. Out of morphine so could be in for a difficult night. So hard to know when to push and when to back off and this does fit in with this thread. I will NOT risk my physical safety and yes I realise at times that this does put my husband at risk but if he has 'mental capacity' have to accept this now.

Seeing GP tomorrow and will try to tactfully bring up the involuntary incontinence. Rock and hard place frankly as if I push too much he won't take the Cosmocol sachets at all. I have some pads on order but just hope he will wear them.

Rant over - bet you are sorry you asked now Jenny. But Mary and Henrietta I know you will both understand as you must be dealing with similar issues.