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Loosing so much in such a short time. - Carers UK Forum

Loosing so much in such a short time.

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
On Tuesday 20th November my husband who has dementia & Parkinsons went to a day centre and spoke to a man who shared my husbands interest of motorcycling. He had his dinner, with a little help at the end of the day, put his coat on and walked out to the car.
On Wednesday evening 21st November after tea, lapsed into sleep and could not be roused to walk up the stairs to bed. We presumed as this had happened a couple of times before, that it was a water infection. As it was late at night, we got him to hospital and he had alot of tests and was kept in bed for 4 days till they got the results of the tests during which time he was unable to feed himself or hold a cup. In the space of a week he had lost everything he had. He is beginning to regain, walking with support and now and then holding a cup and responding when asked to do something. The hospital say he is physically strong. He has not had a stroke or anything and the hospital do not know how much he can regain. I find it astonishing how he can loose so much in so short a space of time.
my dad went the same,one day we were watching a film together and within 24 hours he was in leicester general hospital with full blown alzheimers,it's an awful disease that plays games with you and messes with your mind,now my wife has it diagnosed at 40 and i hate the disease.
My mum was really poorly 2 weeks ago, the doctor said she needed to go to hospital unless someone stayed with her 24/7 until she improved. UTI diagnosed, antibiotics started. I thought it might be the end for mum, but now she's eating well, back to her old self etc. I'm sure mum doesn't drink enough when she's alone, carers call three times a day and prepare meals and a hot drink, so now I try to visit between their calls and make extra drinks - she can't make her own any more, and her hands are no longer strong enough to open a Thermos. She always has a drink of water by her side, I just don't think she drinks it. Hopefully your OH will also bounce back like mum did.
My husband is still in hospital. They say he is physically strong but not mentally. He is making progress, being taken for walks up and down the ward. He can get to standing from the chair now but does not realize he might fall if left. He is beginning to hold a cup for drinks but the added complication was bad thrush in his mouth so eating and drinking was very painful. Hopefully in a day or so he should be free of that. We are now waiting to get help from social services so that he can come home but I do find that if we don't progress from Monday - Friday everything grinds to a halt over the weekend. Nobody knows how much strength he is likely to get back and whether he will be able to tackle the stairs again.
Daffy, sorry to hear that progress is slow. Might be worth making a list of what you will need before your OH comes home again, especially how you will cope with the stairs problem. Insist that an OT does a proper home assessment before he is discharged - it should happen as a matter of course, together with a detailed care plan arranged by Social Services. Don't agree to have OH home until everything is in place. MY GP always recommended live yoghurt for thrush type infections.
Many Thanks Bowlingbun for your reply. Our eldest daughter is a senior nurse of many years in a health centre and has her finger on the pulse. As well as doing her very demanding job, she is looking at it from every angle and will not want anything we are not happy with. I will tell her about your reply. As you say there are many things to be considered. We are waiting, after the weekend to see when the meeting with the social worker can be arranged. I am so lucky to have the support of our three daughters and their families as well. Will keep you posted as to what we end up with, this being a place we have never been to before.
It has been a long slow road to recovery and my husband came home on Friday after everything had been put in place ie. carers, stair lift. He spent one week after hospital at a very good home and his recovery has escalated since Thursday. The assessment of the home by the hospital could have been done a week earlier but that time was spent telling us to bring the bed downstairs, get a commode and take him home. I think because of the illness he will not quite get back to where he was before but he is alot better than we thought possible at the beginning. There were times when I considered whether to bring him home at all. So after xmas he may be able to go back to the day centres he had just started before this setback.
Lovely news Daffy Image Image
Well done for getting everything sorted out - properly - before your OH came home. I do hope you manage to enjoy Christmas together again. I've spent too many Christmasses visiting very poorly relatives in hospital.
Many Thanks for your replies.
Here we are on xmas day having a different one but this year it is different for all our families with 2 of my middle daughters children away in India travelling and my daughter & her husband off on Sunday to New Zealand for two months.
The best part of the day so far is having told the carers not to come. I don't see much caring when they come and yank him out of bed, ready or not to get him washed dressed and down stairs. He is getting so much back now but is incontinent much of the time due to having been in hospital and not being able to walk but this morning has been able to help me get him a proper bath, not what they call bathing. It has taken longer but we have most of the day. admittedly, I think his limbs maybe abit stiffer from now on but with TIME and HELP can still lift his legs enough to get in and out of the bath with the help of the bath lift. Xmas does not mean anything to him now.
Our eldest daughter & family, I think are coming round this afternoon unless they feel differently having had their xmas dinner. I am doing what Mick likes for lunch which is fillet steak, of course xmas pud which has always been made by me and the customary xmas cake which I make and decorate in my style with this year lots of 60's around since it is 60 years since my husband and I first set eyes on one another in a dance hall. Those were the days of much more restriction for a young woman of 17 and a half!
what sort of xmas day are other carers having?