[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
I just despair!! - Carers UK Forum

I just despair!!

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
It seems the whole world comes to a standstill when I take a weeks break/holiday from caring for my mother who suffers with Alzheimers and is a diabetic.

This week was supposed to be a weeks desperately needed break! Ha what a joke!

Monday, care agency staff went round at 11.30 to get mum to eat dinner! Mum said she'd had toast/jam - yea probably for breakfast! Carer put down in log book that mum wouldn't eat then but would have something later!! I know from past experience not to take my mother's word for it. What she says and what she does is two different matters! Come teatime the district nurses arrive to take give mum's insulin and do her blood sugars. They ring me in a flap because mum's sugars are rock bottom (why?because she didn't eat lunch) and they can't administer her insulin unless she eats and her sugars go back up. Of course that put me under stress thinking the carer's have just gone off at lunch time and not made sure she's eaten.
Tuesday - I work this day as Mum is in hospital having a cataract operation, but I was looking forward to having the rest of week off.
Wednesday - the district nurses ring me moaning cos mum has lost her eye shield and keeps rubbing her eye when they administer the eye drops. Well their words were scrubbing at her eye! What do they want me to do about it, you can tell mum until you're blue in the face she doesn't retain information!! She had Alzheimer's - get the picture!! I said perhaps I should visit the local Police Station for some hand cuffs!!!!! Image
Thursday - about my only good day out of the week.
Friday - morning day centre staff arrived to collect mum but in a flap cos couldn't find her eye drops to take with her. Care agency didn't tell day ctr staff where eye drops were - in mum's bag! Of course everyone rings me asking me to do something! I'm supposed to be relaxing and on a break!!
Friday evening I have to order some more eye drops so day ctr can have their own bottle. Doctor won't prescribe without hospital discharge form. I go to Mum's to get form and sort it out with doctor. Go back to Mum's to make sure she is ok. Find 2 half eaten ready meals in the oven - gone like concrete, I ring care agency manager to complain. Get usual story we can't force mum to eat - she has rights and choices! Surely her rights and choices go out the window when she had dementia. It's for her own good that she eats so she doesn't have a hypo. I decide to do job myself and set about giving mum a shower, meds and tea. Just leaving when carers turn up. I rather abruptly told them I had done everything and they should go! They rang Manager and said I was shouting - which I wasn't! Just talking sharpish as annoyed! Now one of the girls refuses to go back to mum's in case I'm there and I shout at her!!!!!!!!!! God give me strength. I may as well have not bothered taking a break this week or at all for that matter. Easier to do job myself. Next Friday I have a meeting with social services area manager - now then where do I begin?? Any suggestions anyone? Try and be polite Image
Elaine
Hi Elaine

Take a copy of your 'post' with you and ask them to read it before you start talking

Hopefully it will give them some idea of what you are trying to cope with.


(((((((HUGS)))))))

Christine
Hi Christine,

Yes that's a good idea, I have printed off my post and will take it with me. I've been to the doctors today and have high blood pressure! What a surprise, I wonder why??!! Image

Tried to contact the Area Social Services Manager today to try and arrange this meeting sooner rather than later. Did I get through? NOPE! When you really need them they always let you down, at least that's the case with me. I'm at the end of my tether. The doctor said get some time for yourself!!!!!! I just laughed at him Image Image What a joke!!

Thanks,
Elaine.
Big hugs to you Elaine, what a week xx
OH Elaine! I can totally relate to your post!
Maybe you should tell 'them' the next time that you have a week off that you will NOT be contactable for that week!
Lots of special hugs - just for you xx
Hi,

Thanks Caring Mind and Bluebell, yes I know it's not easy being a carer and TRYING to take a break!!

I have my meeting with the Area Social Services Manager tomorrow, I'm dreading it. The way I feel at the moment, one minutes I'm so angry I could murder someone and the next I'm in floods of tears, so God knows what I'll be like tomorrow. This meeting is about my complaint about my so called social worker plus to re-assess mum's care package. She's deteriorated so much just since last November when I initially asked social services for help and it's taken them this long to pull their finger out. I had to go to the extremes of getting Central Advocacy involved with my complaint which has resulted in this meeting.

Pray for me tomorrow I might need it!! Image Image

Elaine.
hi Elaine - how did your meeting go? xx
Hi Caring Mind,

It didn't go too bad but I won't hold my breath just yet!! They are going to allocate a permanent social worker (one with knowledge of Alzheimers and what the carers have to deal with) and I should hear by next week who it is and perhaps even have a visit from them.

I'm going to have a carer's assessment and Mum is going to be re-assessed too. I WILL be going onto this new system Self Directed Support, I'm currently on Direct Payments. But they assured me I wouldn't be worse off. My old social worker didn't know much about either scheme and told me my holidays would be reduced from 5.5wks to 4wks!!! I need more not less!! The area manager also talked about getting Mum in respite for 2weeks but they will have to drag her out of her house kicking and screaming because I know she is adamant and would refuse to go into a home (even temporarily). They addressed my letter of complaint and are going to investigate the issues I raised. Oh yes, they are talking about increasing Mum's care package but employing private carer's instead of using agencies, but I would have to employ my own carer's on behalf of Mum. So I will need to be guided through that as I don't have experience of employing staff although Rosemary did give me some useful advice in another post. Thanks Rosemary Image
So that's about it in a nutshell!
As I said, I won't hold my breath because I know from experience with social workers what they say and what they do are two very different things!! Although this time it was the "Area Social Worker", so perhaps she might sit up and listen for a change!!
The ironic thing about all of this is that many years ago (in the 1970's) my Dad was a social worker (he dealt with children though not the elderly) he died when I was only 10yrs old. I often think he would turn in his grave if he knew how I've been treat, perhaps he's well out of it now!!
Thanks for thinking of me Caring Mind - you obviously do have a caring mind!!! Image
Elaine xx
Hi Caring Mind,

It didn't go too bad but I won't hold my breath just yet!! They are going to allocate a permanent social worker (one with knowledge of Alzheimers and what the carers have to deal with) and I should hear by next week who it is and perhaps even have a visit from them.

I'm going to have a carer's assessment and Mum is going to be re-assessed too. I WILL be going onto this new system Self Directed Support, I'm currently on Direct Payments. But they assured me I wouldn't be worse off. My old social worker didn't know much about either scheme and told me my holidays would be reduced from 5.5wks to 4wks!!! I need more not less!! The area manager also talked about getting Mum in respite for 2weeks but they will have to drag her out of her house kicking and screaming because I know she is adamant and would refuse to go into a home (even temporarily). They addressed my letter of complaint and are going to investigate the issues I raised. Oh yes, they are talking about increasing Mum's care package but employing private carer's instead of using agencies, but I would have to employ my own carer's on behalf of Mum. So I will need to be guided through that as I don't have experience of employing staff although Rosemary did give me some useful advice in another post. Thanks Rosemary Image
So that's about it in a nutshell!
As I said, I won't hold my breath because I know from experience with social workers what they say and what they do are two very different things!! Although this time it was the "Area Social Worker", so perhaps she might sit up and listen for a change!!
The ironic thing about all of this is that many years ago (in the 1970's) my Dad was a social worker (he dealt with children though not the elderly) he died when I was only 10yrs old. I often think he would turn in his grave if he knew how I've been treat, perhaps he's well out of it now!!
Thanks for thinking of me Caring Mind - you obviously do have a caring mind!!! Image
Elaine xx
Sorry my computer is on a "go slow" tonight and I submitted my post twice in error!! Image

I'm too impatient,

Elaine Image