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Family issues with mother in law plus my dad getting worse

Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2018 5:37 pm
by tracie
We are having issues with my mother in laws sister,it's been discussed that as my mother in laws dementia gets worse she will be put into a care home her son and myself have never been consulted and nothing has been wrote down,I contacted social worker who came to see us all did usual asked questions what was going on my mother in law told her what her sister had been saying and also that she mentions care homes mother in law gave clear consistent answers with questions social worker asked,outcome no concerns about mother in law we are doing a excellent job and as care homes are closing social worker said be hard to find somewhere and also she does not meet the criteria for one she has stated her wishes to remain at home with support from carers and myself and hubby,dementia nurse has been and also noted all this down so all good apart from interfering Annie,it's took a couple of years to find some support a lady takes her out couple of days a week that's been nearly spoiled by her sister coming on a day this lady came and mother In law did not want to do anything social worker has put more support in but been cancelled by her other sister who lives in Spain we re enstated it as it would only confuse mother Inlaw we had a call fri saying they can't do there job while she is there we said just carry on so career went back,no one but us do anything and everything we do is being undone no matter what we do they don't have a legal right to cancel anything at breaking point as I don't know what to do.

My dad has dementia undiagnosed for a couple of years,he was diagnosed last Nov 2017 this last 12 months he has got worse and it kills me as he knows,we spent xmas with him and mum and we have seen him so different it's upset my husband and myself

Re: Family issues with mother in law plus my dad getting worse

Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2018 11:58 pm
by jenny lucas
Others will know the law better than I, but unless your aunt has some kind of legal authority (PoA at the least!) she has no say-so over what happens to your MIL.

Why not write to the GP etc pointing that out....

It's always distressing when families disagree about what should happen....

Re: Family issues with mother in law plus my dad getting worse

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 11:27 am
by tracie
We are the POA she ha no legal right to do anything,my mother Inlaw will pass away at home where she wants to be or maybe local hospice not a care home.

Re: Family issues with mother in law plus my dad getting worse

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 12:38 pm
by bowlingbun
Hi Tracie,

I'm pleased that you finally managed to find someone to support your mother in law, and it's vital that interfering family don't much this up.
All I can suggest is that you make it clear that you have POA and that they MUST IGNORE any instructions for anyone else in the family, and deal only with you.
I know how annoyed and upset I'd be if I was in your position.

Re: Family issues with mother in law plus my dad getting worse

Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:43 am
by tracie
Thank you, it's bad enough dealing with the person with dementia to be fair mother Inlaw is a dream just needs some support its others that make it difficult for us,my mother Inlaw won't upset them yet she tells us its nothing to do with them but won't tell them.