family disbelief

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
HI Audrey, well, not family, but doctors!
I took Mother to the memory clinic the other day (which I still have to write about) ...and guess what? After me explaining how much worse her memory had got, Mother was 'awarded' more points this time than last!!! She can't remember what went on a second before, but managed to say the right things at the right time!
Today my Mother asked me the same question so many times in the space of even one minute, that I just walked out; couldn't take any more! Image Mind you, that's another story!
Hang on in there and ignore this ignorant, self indulgent person. She should be pitied for knowing no compassion or common sense!
Keep on doing what you're doing, Audrey - we all acknowledge the problems you have xxx
Oh yah Audrey - I think we've all been through that one !

Take my Mum (please !!!!!) - I see the full gamut as I'm here 24/7; the times she doesn't know where she is; the times she doesn't know who I am; the times that she 'forgets' that my Dad and all her sisters have passed away - yet when we do have the occassional visitor she can be as 'normal' as the next person and you wouldn't know that anything much was wrong with her. I'm sure that some people who only see her rarely thik that I exagerate her condition Image Image
p.s

~Audrey - if you haven't already done so, do read 'Norrms Blog' on the Dementia Thead - it gives us Carers a great insight into the world of the Dementia sufferer from their viewpoint.
lol.......thanks Audrey - you made me smile - (first time today) x
blimey hun- go ahead and winge all families have that sort of twit in them- i find a catlle prod to the ribs a few times keeps them away Image sorry i am saddistic lol
really though id say -u look after them for a few hours and then tell me wot u think
Not only did my sister in law`s children choose not to tell us their mum had vascular dementia, they let us take her to scotland for a fortnight`s holiday........(incredible journey thread tells all).
Total denial of her condition can`t be helping anyone, and we feel so helpless. From being a clean, houseproud woman never done of washing and ironing, now she does nothing, but would convince anyone asking she leads a full and active life in and out of her home.

My late mother convinced a social worker there was nothing wrong with her, and she was about to close the case until OH told her the dog mum had told her she walked that very morning had been dead for fifteen years, and mother hadn`t set foot out of the door for seven.

Ignorance is a great thing............ie ignoring the ignorant person, not being ignorant. Fickle language this english, isn`t it?

Take care
Meg
Only joined today, and am so heartened to read on this subject. My stepchildren seem to be in denial - admittedly my husband tries hard when they are around - but if I say anything about his forgetfulness or confusion they will say 'Oh, I do that all the time'. When on holiday recently I left him with his son and daughter-in-law for half an hour while I had a swim and when I got back his son said 'He has been absolutely fine' (I learned later that he had just peed in a wooden salad bowl and then rushed off up the road and tried to climb in the neighbour's window).
Family disbelief - Why?! The one time you need a little support why dont you get it from family, who make infrequent visits. Does it makes them feel better and ease their conscience? When I hear 'he's pretty average for that age', ' he's coping very well', 'we've found nothing wrong with him' I could scream. It implies you're lying, over reacting and generally making a fuss. Everything we say is contradicted so when my relatives arrive at the end of the month to visit FIL Im not visiting. It was a hard decision to make but after 6 years of caring I dont want to hear their opinion, I know what hes like. Ive known my FIL for 40 yrs. my sister in law has known him 8 yrs Image The caring situation causes enough anxiety for us I dont need it increased by crass remarks directed to us.
We have this problem in reverse, I am 400 miles from mum and any enquiries about the deteriorating state of her mental health are met with remarks like, "Just getting older" but my family are big on denial, they still insist my 13 year old profoundly autistic son could talk if he wanted to Image
I can put up with the stuff about my boys because I am their carer but really worry about what is being done for my mum but feel as if I am sticking my nose in where it isn't wanted.
Vicky
HI there
I posted recently about my mum in another thread, but can totally understand about the family bit!
I am the youngest daughter-have 3 older brothers, one of which lives abroad, 2 of which live in the same town, who visit every couple of weeks, and when they do, I tell them of things that have happened, but they seem more interested in their own moans and woes. I give up!
They pop in to see mum, have a cuppa and a catch up, and then disappear into their own lives!
I am seriously thinking of ringing social servs to get an assessment done of my mum, because if all this recent activity keeps happening I am gonna go really downhill, I am alraedy off work with depression, and am supposed to be going back in 10 days, and I need to as I need my job. I am the only main earner, have a hubby who cant work due to disabilty and 2 kids 12 and 8 to care for too!
Why do I feel so guilty for thinking about care homes?????? Image