diana dealing with dementia

[jenny lucas]

Shewolf, thank you - but if it's illegal (because abusive) not to cook someone with dementia an alternative meal when they don't eat a Meals on Wheels one that's just been delivered (which is what I was suggesting), then it's illegal and that's that! And if it's also pointless to expect them to eat a Meals on Wheels meal when they are hungry because, with dementia, they won't feel hunger, so therefore won't eat what they don't want to eat anyway, then it was doubly pointless of me to suggest it as a way of lessening the caring burden.

(By the way, I wasn't going to leave the forum, just leave poor Diana alone considering I'd caused her original thread to be shut down!!)

[Dancedintherain]

Shewolf. Oh yes, those with dementia DEFINITELY feel pain, have no doubt of that.

The problem in caring for them is that often they cannot identify any pain, sometimes not even knowing what part of the body is in extreme pain. In addition, they may have lost all their verbal skills and unable to tell anyone. unable to ask for help or even a bit of sympathy and comfort. This is what happens to us in the later stages of dementia.

Bit hard to imagine being In pain and not understanding it isn't it? Worth trying to imagine it, I think it can deepen understanding.

As for "bad" teeth needing treatment yet no pain being felt ....that's easy to answer. The nerves are probably dead, hence no pain at all.

DR

[Dancedintherain]

Diana...day centres full? The thing is, by the very nature of the clients, the situation often changes rapidly. Attendees get sick, have a fall or a crisis or hospitalisation etc and lo and behold, a new vacancy arises.
try and stay positive. Please.

Stressing ain't good for ANYONE ...including me.

[SheWolf]

DITR:

Bit hard to imagine being In pain and not understanding it isn't it? Worth trying to imagine it, I think it can deepen understanding.

As for "bad" teeth needing treatment yet no pain being felt ....that's easy to answer. The nerves are probably dead, hence no pain at all.

Thanks DITR. I wondered about dead nerves, but they can't all be dead, because Dad insists on brushing his teeth with warm water, so some of them must be sensitive to cold.

I'm lucky that Dad can still communicate quite well, he just has zero short term memory and I have to make the decisions for him now. I am worried about putting him through the treatment, which will involve either sedation (if I can get it for him) or a general anaesthetic, but feel I have to go ahead because if the teeth are rotting away it could cause him a lot of pain later on, or even an infection that could get into his bloodstream. Maybe some people would say leave the teeth, they're not causing him pain and will fall out eventually, but I don't think I can risk it.

[JHR57]

My Mum, as well as suffering with vascular dementia is also quite arthritic and she will often tell me "I've got really bad pain in my back" when I approach with the rubbing ointment (probably does nothing but she thinks it does) and the paracetamol she will offer her shoulder to me instead of her back so I'm guessing she feels pain but cannot determine where the pain is .... I used to think it was just attention seeking but have since learned otherwise !!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[diana]

what to do if doctor wont positively diagnose dementia?this means i need informed consent for carers etc. which mum wont agree to. i have looked at test on another post and she cant have passed it.she often cant remember her surname,thinks she lives in her childhood home.never knows the date. unfortunately does know who prime minister is.could it be that doctor believed her answers even if they were wrong? she probably said confidently that her children were called Ethel and Arthur(were aren"t)

[JHR57]

That's unbelievable Diana, my Mum went a long time before our Doctor finally diagnosed her (he didn't qualify the reasons why) but he did eventually diagnose her and signed all the relevant forms way before a brain scan confirmed this. When he went through the brain scan results he simply said "they only confirm what I was already 100% sure of so in fact they were only done as confirmation" - so why on earth your doctor is stalling Lord in heaven only knows. Must admit tho' Mum did fail every question the Doctor and later the memory specialist asked her - I would challenge them to come and stay with her for a few hours if they need further confirmation - it truly is a nightmare to live with for all concerned xxxxxx

[diana]

What a saturday evening! went to pick up mums medication as delivery failed. chemist said she had been removed from system. What!how! they said someone? had phoned to say she was in a care home(she isnt).couldnt issue meds as now no prescription. doctors surgery closed so they suggest phoning emergency doctor. do so. they say will phone back in two hours by which time chemist is closed. finally have to hike to 24 hour chemist(about 2 miles away). of course meds now not in docket boxes so spend half an our figuring out what to put in mums "buzzy" box.worrying thing is that if we had not been around she would never have coped .took 5 hours from start to finish. horrible thought ,did mum phone chemist? surely not! probably not! she did enjoy the fuss though

[sunnygirl]

The pain issue is often ignored by medics , I have just had to 'remind' my mums doctor to add her co-codamol back to her prescription (she had left hospital without it on her prescription) my reason for requesting them was my mum has had osteo-arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis which since her early 40's and it has caused her pain in many joints. I refuse to believe that now aged 75 and having long periods of inactivity she isn't still experiencing pain, she is but is unable to say so or understand where she is in pain. The medics say it wrong to give the tablets if she not in obvious pain. I did have to ask if a miracle had happened and my mums arthritis had been cured during her hospital stay. I don't think they appreciated the sentiment.

[bowlingbun]

My mum has dreadful osteoarthritis, osteoporosis and hyperostosis, to the extent where she is permanently bent double; and she should have had a shoulder replacement 10 years ago, it's crumbled away. Yet when she was in hospital they denied she was in any pain. Within 24 hours it was so bad the only thing that helped was oramorph, and then it was only help, rather than remove it entirely! Is there something fundamentally different about pain in the very elderly?