Dementia rant

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
Just popped on to let off steam. Dad has had 7 falls in last 2 weeks and is getting pottier day by day. He has just been asking to go home, asking for his mum, telling me I haven't lived here for 50 years because he never sees me, showed him the garden but said he wasn't convinced it was his. He is at home where he has lived for last 60 years.
Has been in bed 24/7 since the weekend and I am having to transfer him to commode. He is so delerius/immobile he can't move his feet to assist with the 90 degree turn.
Trying to get 30 minutes of help in the evenings but no agency wants to know due to staff shortages in summer holidays.
OT coming round tomorrow but don't see how she can help really apart from possibly a banana board.
Dr been round but they don't really know what to do with him so they are just trying to support me rather than fix Dad which isn't much help at all besides words.
Dad is so potty he is letting me put up bed rails at last, and before anyone suggests it no he doesn't have a UTI. Still eating and drinking but sleeping lots, when he wakes potty potty potty. :(
Has he got any numbness in any of his extremities, fingers or toes?

Does he give the appearance of being drunk?
That's the problem with dementia Henrietta - everything seems to be rolling along fairly smoothly, then WHAM, out of the blue, another downturn. Mum was exactly the same :( I always knew when another downward slide was due as she'd start on about 'going home' and her Mum & Dad again, and like your Dad stopped recognising where she lived as her home. Does he still know who you are ? Mum kept telling me that, yes she knew my name was Sue but I wasn't her daughter who had the same name :(
Hi Colin
I don't think there is any numbness in particular, but I don't think his brain is talking to his feet. No I would not say he appeared drunk but more delerius.
Susie - yes he said to me that he didn't feel like he had a mum anymore (she passed away in the 1960s), I said no he had a daughter, Henrietta and he seemed to know that. I talked to him about an old dog we had, but he didn't recognise the description of the current one.
He asked me who was in charge around here so I said I was :lol: and I think he sees me more as hotel manager than daughter.
Yep, Mum was the same - I think she thought I was a nurse or the cleaner :shock: Kept telling me "you'll have to go soon as my daughter is due home from work any minute" :roll:
I know where you are coming from. My husband thought he had lost me on one of the visits. Said he had moved furniture upstairs, and didn't know whether to go to his sister ( estranged). Luckily he smiled when I said he had no chance of losing me. He says bizarre things that I wonder where on earth it comes from.
Hi Henrietta
Forgive me but dementia isn't my area of caring, but I am wondering if Dad is now at the stage of needing more care (possibly residential or hospital) as his physical needs increase ?
From reading so many experiences on here it seems as though carers do quite well while the mind goes, but once the body starts failing so much ( as you say his brain doesn't reach his feet anymore) then it becomes a case of needing more pairs of hands, and over more hours.
Is it now a matter of asking/demanding more support as it has moved from mental to physical?

(((HUGS))) Henrietta. I'm full of admiration for the way you have managed to care for dad for so long, when I would have given up long ago.
Is it worth asking for a new CHC Assessment do you think? Is he worse now than when it was granted previously?
Sending more ((hugs)), Henrietta. I think not being recognised is one of the most upsetting parts of the illness. I remember mum telling me that there were two Anne's, one a nice daughter and the other, a bossy cow who kept on telling her to drink more :blush: I once asked her if she knew who I was and the answer floored me " no, I don't know who you are but I know that you love me"

I have no bright ideas, a dreadful dreadful illness
No advice but I agree with Mrs A that maybe he needs more care than any one person can give....I am surprised the GP did not suggest he be sent to hospital frankly. Amazed that you are being left alone to get on with it although having read posts over the last year I should not be. The numbness could be a sign of a stroke but I guess this has been checked out.

Sending hugs. It is the most dreadful disease and I can only imagine how you must be feeling. The person we once loved seems to gradually disappear.