by
pamr1 » Mon Aug 12, 2013 8:35 am
thank you for your replies.
the problem so far has been that no matter how many people go in to see her in a day, all she wanted was me,me, me.
Now i think we have reached a stage when she really does not remember when i last was there, or what we did, etc. she can be very nasty to me, but thats par for the course i think.
That is why i am thinking, do i really need to go to her so much. as i said crossroads go into her 5 days per week, and i am not talking about me not going at all, just not as much.
Thinking about it overnight, i think i will just load her fridge up with milk when i do go and ask crossroads to keep an eye on it and if necessary take her some.
Yes, bowlingbun she does get all the benefits she is entitled to. and yes she has been assessed by s.s. twice in fact. they say that she is quite ok living on her own. In fact last time they came she sat and spoke to my mum who was in part, away with the fairies at the time. she left the flat and bumped into the lady who lives next door to mum. this lady spoke to social worker and said she felt mum should be cared for in a residential home. to be fair, this neighbour (herself in her 80s) has to put up with a lot from mum. her wanderings and talking rubbish etc. etc. the social worker then said to her that she had been sitting with mum and had a perfectly good conversation with her. Well i was present and i would not have interpreted it in that way. the s.w. admitted to me that because mum sees to her own personal care, to get help for her is more difficult, but in my opinion that should not be the only criteria.
She falls a lot, and we have an appt. for the falls clinic in september. She has a link line, but mostly does not wear it and does not remember how to use it. She wears a hearing aid, but loses it on a daily basis and cannot put it in herself. a few people have said to me that mum is so much worse without her hearing aid, but i wish they would tell me how to solve the problem of a. finding it, it could be just anywhere in her flat. and b. putting it in.
Yes suzie i think she would be far far better off in some sort of residential place. she would have company, she would at least have the opportunity to eat a hot meal, and she would be cared for 24/7. She could not be self funding so its all down to s.s. also she is very much against that heself.
there was a message on my answerphone last week from social worker saying that they are sending in an enablement team for 6 weeks, so they can see how mum is coping.
I think this is because i have been going on so much about mum not eating and has lost 1/2 stone in 3 weeks. I have decided i will keep clear of that and let them get on with it and see what they come up with. Me being involved will make no difference, and also i don't think i have the strength at the moment.
I am desperately trying to sell our property so that i can move back closer to her, without any luck for the past 8 mths. it is all my fault as i thought that now i am almost 70 i could do what i want and live where i want, but for lots of reasons, not just my mum, it has not worked out.
oh dear.