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Carer develops radical new dementia treatment - Carers UK Forum

Carer develops radical new dementia treatment

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_a ... 735083.ece

Penny Garner who cares for her mum tells Times Online about the radical new dementia treatment she developed herself.

Just read the link for this topic. I think the concept is great and I can understand where she got the idea from ------ here comes the but--- how do you have the patience to go with this all day and everyday. Perhaps it's me but I get very stressed and frustrated when my Mum can't understand or remember a simple task. Perhaps I should try and go with the flow a bit more. Easier said than done sometimes Image
The concept of 'Contented Dementia' is all very well but how do you 'go with the flow' when your caree's actions are possibly dangerous ! Mine still thinks she can climb ladders to wash windows and change net curtains; she also thinks that she just can trundle off down the road to do some shopping when she feels like it forgetting that she has had two knee replacements and that both hips need doing and therefore her mobility is seriously compromised.

'Contented Dementia' also advocates telling lies to keep the patient happy ! Like perpetuating the myth that someone is still alive when they've been dead for a number of years. My Mum often asks me where Dad is - if I lie and say something like 'he's gone out for a while' then she keeps fretting about when he's coming back. But if I tell her the truth, that he died 20 years ago, then she's OK with that - a bit unhappy that she's forgotten, but not unhappy that he's actually dead. Lies always come home to roost - 'if at first you practise to deceive.......' etc. You have to be able to remember the lies to keep up the fiction, because contrary to popular belief, dementia patients don't forget everything they're told - they always remember what you don't want them to remember ! It's called 'sods law' !!
Hi Susieq

I agree entirely with what you say. I just don't think it's possible to live in the world of "Contented Dementia" and as you say you have to have a really good memory if you are going to tell lies. That is impossible with all the other things to cope with and the stress of having to cope especially on a bad day when they are completely in la la land. No disrespect to them but some days you just wonder what is going on in their heads. Image