You are such a godsend to your mum even if she doesn’t realise.

I have a ghost sister too and we both live the other side of the country to mum and dad. If I lived nearer to mum and dad I know I’d be sucked into doing everything and it would have killed my marriage, but being far away means I’ve had to put other things in place. My sister does nothing, but I keep her informed.

Attendance allowance is a helpful chunk of extra money and if you haven’t applied for it already make sure you do but seek help from citizens advice or age uk to fill in the form. Use the money to fund some help even if it’s just a bit of companionship for your mum. My mum is really anti carers but accepted the private carers I found because it’s the same people all the time and they are there for a full hour and the help is practical rather than restricted to personal as per social services. There is some great help out there if you look around.

I hope that you find a way to find some space for yourself.

Take care,
Liz x