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Advice Please - Carers UK Forum

Advice Please

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
Hi All,

My Mum went out with her support worker for a drive in her car yesterday. She rang me last night as she felt she had to tell me. That it was warm in her car and she could smell urine. So she thought she should mention it to me.

I will be seeing my mum tomorrow.
I really don't want to upset her about such a personal thing. But I think I really need to say something, as its only me that can being her daughter. I know she would be heartbroken to think this could be happing.
I know what to do to help her. Its just how to approach this subject with her. Even if it means me getting my head bit off when I try to.
Any help would be so helpfull with this matter.
Love Sonia xxxxxx
Hi Sonia,

I sympathise ! Firstly does your Mum realise that is her, or is she saying that it's her Support Worker ?

If she realises that it is her then the battle is half won - I got round the problem by telling Mum that it was just a problem a lot of us 'older' ladies have; that our muscles get weak with age and we need extra 'protection' to cope with any 'accidents'. My Mum, being Mum, never did get used to the idea that her incontinence pads were for urinary accidents and always insisted that she used them because she didn't know when her next period would be - at 88 Mum Image Image

If, however, she's insists it's not her but her support worker then you have an altogether different battle on your hands - 'cos first off you have to convince her that she's the problem, and that won't be easy. But perhaps you could approach it from a similar angle to above and suggest that she might like to try some Tena Lady pads 'just in case'.

Good Luck !