Aged mother (ill) but main problem is personality disorder

[jessie]

Quick update........I have still heard NOTHING from SS......Psychiatrist has told GP by phone that he disagrees with me bringing her home.

Her stroke Consultant on examination this week said he's very pleased with her physical improvements and care at home & doesn't need to see her again.

[jessie]

Over last 3/4 weeks she's become incontinent. It's easy to say "oh, it's the dementia".

But at times she's been in tears with pain....GP has taken two blood tests & now referred for a scan as he says he can feel "swelling in her bowels".

Can anyone throw any light on this?

...........

For those who read my earlier posts:

I've still have heard NOTHING from Social Services. You remember, those caring services who back in March/April considered Mum to be in such extreme need of residential placement - as long as she paid.....where are they now?

Placed Mum last week into respite into another care home - they were lovely, no problems...a truly extreme contrast to previous experience.

[susieq]

Over last 3/4 weeks she's become incontinent. It's easy to say "oh, it's the dementia".

But at times she's been in tears with pain....GP has taken two blood tests & now referred for a scan as he says he can feel "swelling in her bowels".

Can anyone throw any light on this?

Hi Jessie

please don't worry unnecessarily - perhaps it's bladder stones which would certainly cause the incontinence and pain on urinating - the scan will certainly show them up and they can be treated easily and successfully.

I'm glad you were able to find a good care home for respite care for your Mum - we're just about to re-start our search.

susieq

[jessie]

Thanks so very much susieq for your reply.

Mum's "incontinence" over last few weeks is more like diarrhoea...she can just make it to the loo, but then it spurts out...(even if she only goes for a wee) >SORRY FOR THE GRAPHIC DETAIL!!!!!! Doesn't flush away, but sticks to side of pan.....uggh....sorry.

She sleeps most of the day now, but about 7.30pm decides she must go for a walk. She can make it to the gate, then comes in saying her stomach is "too heavy and will fall out if she doesn't sit down."

Today she hasn't "been" to toilet at all.....

In addition, care worker called in sick today, transport for day centre unavailable all week....holidays!!

So here I am.

[susieq]

Jessie - I think you need to get back onto your Mum's GP again for an urgent referral; what you describe doesn't sound right at all and needs urgent investigation. It could be any number of things and until it gets investigated you are only going to worry.

I hope it turns out to be something simple and easily treated.

[jessie]

Susieq:

Thank you so much for your reply....I feel v alone sometimes, but I'm not really alone because you & others are there somewhere in cyber space.... would love to be able to meet up in the real world some day.

GP saw Mum about 10 days ago. On examination he said he could feel swelling in her bowels. He's referred her for a scan, still waiting to hear.

Her two blood count shows anaemia/low haemoglobin (iron stores OK). No sign of infection nor blood in faeces which is what he looked for. . Urine tests OK.

[susieq]

GP saw Mum about 10 days ago. On examination he said he could feel swelling in her bowels. He's referred her for a scan, still waiting to hear.

Jessie - chase him up about the scan and ask for an URGENT referral; I had to wait 12 weeks for a referral to physio and I don't think your Mum should be waiting at all.

[Caring_Mind]

Thinking of you, Jessie. (that's my Mum's name btw!) I agree with susieq - back to docs to get her checked out. Please, let us know what the results are? x

[jessie]

Update:

a) Still waiting for scan appointment......

b) I've contacted specialist solicitors, completed initial questionnaire & had a reply that they think my mother is entitled to NHS free continuing care......if their investigations with NHS Trust are negative, there are sufficient grounds to take to Court, although this is unlikely to be necessary, NHS settles beforehand.

IMPORTANT: I've discovered that all legal costs are covered by her House Insurance Policy.

Check all & any policies, house, car, dog, credit cards etc......solicitors tell me that legal costs are often covered in the small print. i.e. legal costs are legal costs, irrelevant to type of policy or reason for legal costs. This was a huge eye opener to me

[jessie]

I think it's about a month since my last post.

Scan - radiologist said it was not an appropriate test for mother's symptoms, whatever that means. Now referred to (very highly specialised) gastro-enterologist.

GP says she's got some fluid on her lungs & heart murmer - as well!!!!

So I soldier on, have had to rip up her bedroom carpet & have new tiling in bathroom. She absolutely refuses to wear a pad. Do I complain unnecessarily - ? - I know there are worse cases, I only have to scrape the stuff off the floor every 2/3 days.

It's now about six months and I've still heard nothing whatsoever from SS. Clearly they no longer care about my mother. They'll say "government cuts"....RUBBISH....they stopped caring before coalition was in power.

My mother is ill. She is a patient. Although I get help from Crossroads, their responsibility is to me as a Carer...unless it's a bank holiday, or they go on holiday or off sick or don't turn up.. My mother, the patient, gets absolutely nothing from anyone or anywhere.