[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
accessing help to get a relative into care if they won't go - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum

accessing help to get a relative into care if they won't go

For issues specific to caring for someone with dementia.
Thanks for the excellent advice ,JENNY .
I shall seek further info from the home about how mum is after our visits especially the times she has been very agitated. Also about often she gets unsettled about wanting to go home day to day .
The idea of getting a call to say mum has died when we have not visited would be unbearable . So if mum settles quickly after a visit even when she has got very agitated I think you are right - we should persevere with the visits difficult as they may be from our point of view.
Thank you again for taking so much trouble to write.
Roy, I too would take advice from the care home staff on this one. Personally, I found short visits better, preferably one hour before meals. You then have a perfect excuse to leave! Also, I found it was better to tell mum that it was not me but the doctors who insisted she stayed. I blamed them for all sorts of things ;)

Whatever mum says, and unlike you she will have forgotten it shortly, she is safe, clean(ish!) and well cared for.
My mum had very high care needs, requiring nursing home care at the end of her life. I too found arriving about an hour before meals was a really good way of keeping visits short and relatively chatty. Once settled in, mum would say "You better go, my dinner's here". I'm just not sure where I came in the pecking order any more!