Diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 39

For issues specific to autism / Asperger Syndrome.
Hi to all Carers here

Our Son who has a severe mental health problem and other health problems has just been diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 39!

Our Son's Psychiatrist was changed over 5 years ago; he's really good, respectful and so helpful too.

After our Son had a stroke in 2015 he saw a professional from the brain injury service, alongside an OT. Due to his brain injury he then saw a Neuro Psychologist.

Within a short period and after a discussion between Psychiatrist and Neuro Psychologist our Son was asked to go for assessments for Autism. After those assessments our Son was diagnosed with Aspergers.

When we first arrived at our 1st appointment, I made clear that I knew nothing of Autism but I could only give a clear account of our Son; which I did.

We went for an appointment afterwards for a discussion and not knowing anything about Autism I was shocked and very upset when I realised so many of my Son's problems were due to Autism! I had to stop myself from crying; over all of these years he has been denied the help and support that should have been afforded to him. He has also suffered as a consequence of not knowing, bless him. I feel so sad too that I was his Mother and didn't know!

It was discussed that if our Son would have had the help/support much earlier in his life that he would have excelled in his education. He used to get bored very easily and didn't try hard to get top marks in his school work but he missed so much of school due to his problems that now I know to be Autism!

He has used the mental health services from the age of 11 and not one of the professionals he came into contact with recognised what was wrong! I feel so angry and frustrated by this!

When he was 7 he saw a child Psychologist and even he didn't recognise this either. I suppose I feel very let down for him.

I'm now trying to come to terms with this new diagnosis but it is going to take some time I expect.

Thanks so much for listening.

Kind regards
HUGS. For 8 years I was blamed as a "bad mother" and denied help. Somehow they missed the fact that my eldest was perfectly behaved and met and exceeded all his developmental milestones.
When we went to see the head at a private special school she asked to have him with her alone for a while. Less than half an hour she said "Your son must have been brain damaged when he was born. Didn't you know?"!
Later we discovered a cover up of monumental proportions, the midwife was an unqualified student without supervision, she didn't write anything on the labour notes for 3 hours, so no chance of compensation. So much could have been avoided if only they had been honest with us from the beginning.
It will take time to adjust to this diagnosis, it's almost like a bereavement, so make sure you are kind to yourself. You were not to have known, it wasn't YOUR fault.
(((Hugs)) Huegatort
I have a relative in his early 30s who has had diagnoses that swing back and forward between MH and Autism (Aspergers). one professional says one thing one year, A few years later another says something different. then it changes again. :roll: :roll: :roll:

Personally i think he has Aspergers but when stressed this can build (or spiral down!) into more... whether that 'more' has a name or label is immaterial. If he can be kept calm and unstressed by using Asperger techniques to prevent 'the more' then that is what we do.

What I do find useful is that there is more to learn and implement on communicating with Autism than ways of helping with MH and a lot of those communication skills do help.
For MH diagnoses we have found they just want to medicate with anti psychotic drugs which do have a bad press in the long term.
Check out the Mark Neary blogs on drugs and the effects on his son. Also they offer insights into what strategies work for them now.

Basically don't see it as negative or too late, just have a look at all diagnoses and build a tool box of skills ( and support) from both that suit your son as an individual

Autsim/Aspergers diagnoses were relatively rare when your son was a boy, many were missed. and it doesn't mean he would have had help or education back then either