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Update on M - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Update on M

For issues specific to autism / Asperger Syndrome.
Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, Melly - life, as you know, has been busy.

M has a new social worker, whom he has met, but I haven't, so don't know what his intentions are with M. M is on the waiting list for two different supported living facilities, one of which is probably more appropriate for M than the other. I don't know who is responsible for helping him find new employment, but apparently it's not his employment support worker! M keeps being told by the people at work that wherever he goes to work, he'll still be told what to do and still be told he's being slow. They think that M doesn't like being told what to do at any time, which isn't exactly true. What he doesn't appreciate and what makes him frustrated and angry is when he is told to do something else or assist one of the other employees when he is already doing something. Result - he is sent outside for shouting. He has a basic list of things to do, but before he does those, there's another list of things any of the other employees can ask him to do. As well as that he is frequently asked to 'help so and so in the corner.' If he tries to go back to working on his own list, he is accused of being sneaky, but if he doesn't get his own list finished, he has to come in on a Saturday to do so.

M was allowed one day compassionate leave when his dad passed away - his employers are a husband and wife team and the wife told him he could come in at 12 noon on the day his dad passed away, but the husband told him he could take the day off. He could have done with more days off, but was worried he'd have to lose some of his holiday leave. He was quite unsettled at work for a while, and this was not well dealt with - he was told to forget about his dad! Also, criticism continued to be made, with one employee commenting that M was a lazy so and so, when his boss was telling his wife to go easy as he'd just lost his dad.

I could go on and on, but life is busy, as I said, so I don't have time. I'm hoping to get in touch with M's social worker and find out what his plans are for M. My older, neurotypical son, who is very concerned about M's situation, and I were to have had a Zoom call with M'''s new social worker and with the previous one before the previous one left, but we didn't manage to get that organized, due to all the things we were having to do post D's passing.

Gill I don't have any answers but that sounds a very toxic workplace for M.
To only give him half a day and then just a day off for the passing of his father, that's draconian to my mind and downright cruel.
I hope he can be found somewhere better to work.

no need to apologise, you have so much to deal with. Such a worry for you on top of everything else.

I really hope a place becomes available at the more suitable supported living place. The staff there may be able to help him find a more suitable job. There are a lot of available in the hospitality sector, would that suit him? Also, there may be local charities that are able to help him find a better job. His work coach really is a waste of space - they should be challenging the workplace to treat M better and if he is unhappy there supporting/signposting him to find another job.