Carers UK Forum

Hi everyone I'm at my wits end since puberty I've found dealing with my son very difficult he's now 17 totally reclusive doesn't see his friends or other members of the family he's withdrawn and will not talk to me.
He doesn't go to school at present as he had to go to sixth form at his special school but doesn't like it he's tried to run away four times in the last month.
He would like to go to the main school where he was last year school are refusing.
He hardly eats a proper meal does not want to work or go to college.
Camhs can't help and nor can social services they have let us down badly.
I feel out of my depth to be honest I suffer from depression and anxiety.

Google IPSEA, then give them a ring and ask for advice.

Hi Katie,
Puberty is difficult for all teenagers and their families, but with autism in the mix, it's a whole lot harder. ( Been there with S, thankfully, now out the other side!)

Is he able to explain why he was fine attending the main school but not the sixth form? Is it a problem with the building, or the curriculum/ subjects have changed or is it generally less structured? If he is able to articulate some of this, it would help. If not you are going to have to go to the school on a fact finding mission.
Armed with this information, you can ask the school to make, "reasonable adjustments," i.e. a compromise that will make it easier for your son to attend school.

Is there an autism team/ advisory service in your area? If so, they would be able to support this process.

Is your son's EHCP still accurately describe your son's needs? If not, request an review meeting; if it is still pertinent, then use this document to assess the sixth form provision and highlight where it is not meeting his needs as laid out in the EHCP.

I too have used IPSEA, they are excellent and would be able to advise/ support you in getting the EHCP uptodate and relevant and being followed.

Melly1

Hello Katie,

Just to offer an alternative perspective, is there any chance that rather than the sixth form venue itself, the problem could lie with the manner the change itself has been handled. Like if your son finished school and was more or less told "right you go there from now on" I could see a problem from the onset because of how those on the spectrum have difficulty with change.

I had a hard time with the transition across myself, school being horrific enough, the idea of having to go to college (noise, smells, too many people, etc) was terrifying.. and as a late dx aspie (HF) naturally I got bugger all in terms of support when in education back then because as far as they were concerned I was just slightly odd

Like was there any sort of ice breaker meetings before the change over for him to meet people/look at the place before starting there?

Don't like to bring this up either but you should also look to rule out bullying

Best wishes