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Carers UK Forum • Tamtrums/head banging
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Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:28 am
by aur3
I'm wondering if someone can offer advice. My son is almost ten an since he began school after Christmas his behaviour has been horrible. He's crying lots and he's tamtrums have increased in frecuency and intensity. It's quite scary and I'm afraid he's going to open he's head if he continues...once he's calmed he keeps showing me his head hurts, poor thing.
Last days if been hell getting him to school and school have called asking, as he's behaviour gone bad there too, very unsual as always been a little angel there!
I can't think of any change at home that has caused this...so stressful Image

Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:16 pm
by Melly1
Hi Aur,
I think you need to rule out a that a physical problem/condition is not causing him distress and get him checked over - ears/throat/sinuses/teeth etc Is he sleeping ok? Does he calm if he has calpol? If he calms after the 20 mins it takes for the calpol to work, then it is probably pain related.

I think I would also go into school for a face to face meeting to find out if there have been any changes there too and also how they are responding to his distress. Does he attend a mainstream or special school?

Do you think he is doing it because he is cross/distressed/frustrated/experiencing sensory problems?

If you walk away when he is doing it, would he carry on without an audience or follow you to make sure you can see he is banging his head or would he stop?

Finally, a lot of research suggests it is best to be very matter of fact re self injury, ie don't give a lot of sympathy or attention to his sore head (although of course you would give first aid etc if needed.)


Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:51 pm
by Tracey

I dont think i can add any more to what Melly has said, my first thought reading this is maybe pain related.
I would get him seen by a doctor as ear infections are nasty if it is this.
If not in pain, has there been any changes at school, new helpers in school. Another child hes not getting on with.

It is very distressing when these things happen, ( my son when stressed bites his hands untill raw but says he cant feel it ).

Maybe its just because of the xmas holidays and hes finding it hard adjusting to going back to school.

There could be many reasons.

Hope the situation eases soon. xx

Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 8:07 pm
by aur3
Hi Melly and Tracey,
Thank you for writing...some good advice there. On Friday I took him to the GP...and he did some checks, he gave him something for his digestion, as this is something he was struggling with for a while. But I don't think this has much to do, as he struggles with this on and off.
He goes to a special shool, I've been on the phone with his teachers twice this week and I will have a meeting if things don't get better. From what they say they are as surprise as me with the sudden change of behaviour...they said he seems to be gone backwards a few steps and doing things he did when he first join the school (a year ago). I could say the same thing...today he he when poo on his pants, something he's not done for ages.
He does have sensory issues..about the tamtrums , I try to ignore as much as possible...but I feel I got to stick around to hold him if need be, he's also been going for his brother and the furniture. The head banging he will do wether I'm in the room or not...so I don't think is to get my attention only.
Anyways hope this is a better week for us and for everyone out there Image

Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 8:47 pm
by no1mum
How's your son been this week?

Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:08 am
by aur3
Thanks for asking. Well at home he's a bit better, at least I'm not having to fight to get him to school!. I had a long chat with his teacher yesterday, he said son continues to be very loud and misbehaved in school...hope between teachers and OT they can find a way to calm him down soon! Image How are things for you these days?
Take care

Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:00 pm
by no1mum
Hoping things calm down at school. x x

Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:16 am
by Tracey
Glad to hear there is some improvement home.
Hope school can get to the route of whats bothering him x

Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:44 am
by mand65
Hi, is your son hormonally changing and growing, i don't know very much about growing boys as i have girls only.... has anything even the tiniest thing in routine changed, gosh its a minfield trying to fathom out, what about sensory things around more noise, too hot /cold, changes to classroom positioning of things, is your soon getting excersize at school with the weather being horrible....ohhh if we could read minds,

My daughter in the past has headbutted things, once she was so wound up because a neighbour over the road had put a wooden porch/chicken coop above the door she butted the window, and said it should'nt be there, i thought the window was going through you could see the rattle, it took her a good few weeks to get use to it, when the house was rented out again it was the first thing pulled down much to my girl's delight..she butts things out of sheer frustration, its not nice to see going through the outbursts, another one the same person put his tanker ouside the house blocking a lot of light, i was going to ask him to move it as it had caused distress for an afternoon and evening, early the next day he moved it, otherwisise i would have explained the situation.......it could be a simple thing to us and we accept it easy... but causing stress to your son......hoping this is soon rectified and your boy is back on an even keel .........best wishes and keep in touch......... mandy

Re: Tamtrums/head banging

Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 3:20 pm
by aur3
Hi Mandy and all,
Maybe is hormonal...he does spend lots of time in the toilet playing with his "thingy" Image but he's been doing that for a while, so nothing new there. As you said it could be anything!
Feel quite down today with this...not looking forward to the weekend like this Image
His latest at home is getting his brothers homework and rubbing it off page by page! His brother is very streess with him shouting at the top of his voice to him, witch in turn makes ASD son shout more...and all the rest! Hes painting wall and carpets and taking the wall paper...behaviours I haven't seen for a long time!
Got another call from school, his TA this time, asking more questions and suggesting I take him to the doctor...already did but will get an appointment to see if he ears are bothering.
To top it off been on the phone with family support and sw...why do they have to be so dissmisive and never give a straight answer!
Well take care and thank you again for the support xx