Hi Jane
My son is 37, and he's severely autistic although he can speak and certainly knows what he wants. He has been in supported living for almost 12 years. He loves it. He gets to choose what he does and to plan his meals and activities, and has a lot of say in his life that he could never achieve in a care home. Yes, there are sometimes issues over staff not "getting" him, or understanding what we're trying to achieve, but mostly it works. The key is getting the right agency involved, ideally, and that needs a good "fit" between you and them - an agency that works well with one family may not work at all well for someone else.
I won't go into how we did it because in 12 years a lot has changed, and much also depends on your local area. The link Melly1 has posted is excellent, though.
Your problem is that you need to decide where you'll live first - because that will dictate what is available. The other potentially tricky bit is that if you move from Wales into England, the chances are that your Welsh social services will carry responsibility for your son's placement in the area you move to - at least for a year, possibly longer - if your son is receiving services now. It's also my understanding that the local social services would also be involved. And I'm not sure how that would work across nations, as it's way outside my experience!
