Respite

For issues specific to autism / Asperger Syndrome.
Hi, how do I get respite care please?
My daughter has autism, she's five. I'm a single mum, my partner died last year suddenly. I'm finding it hard to cope day to day. I have severe depression and severe anxiety, I take antidepressants and I'm waiting for 1-1 counselling sessions.
My daughters behaviour is becoming harder to cope with and I need help.
A friend suggested respite but I don't know where to begin.
Can any of you lovely people advise me please?
Thank you
Any respite care for a child needs to be set up through your local Social Services dept.
Your child's school(if she is at school) should also be able to support you.
Don't feel afraid at asking for help!!
Have you looked at social club and special needs clubs in your area?
The brownies can also be a good resource and very good at additional needs children.
Are there any church/chapel groups - you do not need to be religious or attend chapel or church.
Speak or contact Mencap ..
https://www.mencap.org.uk/?q=homepage
They will know of clubs/groups/activities etc.
Mencap run holiday activties.
Try http://www.autism.org.uk/
Who also provide holiday scheme for the summer etc.
There is plenty of help it's just connecting up.
Taking that second step this is the first and you made it here.
My son has severe learning difficulties, he's now 38.
Firstly, contact Social Services Children's Department, and ask them to arrange a Needs Assessment for her and a Carers Assessment for you. Make sure you get copies.

Is she attending school yet? Is there a parents support group or similar? If schooling is a problem, Contact IPSEA. Don't allow yourself to be fobbed off. Find out as much as possible about various school options. My son attended a "Camphill" school, it was a long struggle to get funding, but worth the fight. They have boarding options too. You might find it easier if she was a boarder and came home for holidays?

Have you claimed Disability Living Allowance for her, and then you may qualify for the Carers Allowance?
Sorry, I forgot to say earlier that losing a partner suddenly is terrible, my husband died suddenly 11 years ago, so that alone is devastating.
Caring for a special needs child on your own is such hard work, and this phase of assessment I found worst of all.
It's really important that you look after yourself, as well as your child. Especially while the weather is so good (thunderstorms apart!) promise you body that you will take it for a walk somewhere every day, nowhere special, just a walk in the sunshine will make you feel better, and do your body the world of good. Concentrate on relaxing while you walk, sauntering along, not a march. The best thing about going for a walk is it doesn't cost anything!!
Does your daughter sleep OK, or is that a problem? If so, there is no shame in you having a nap, or a rest, during the day to catch up.
Thank you for your advice I'll contact them today and get the ball rolling.
My daughter is very clingy with me, has to be in the same room as me always, even the toilet. She sleeps with me too. I have tried a whole range of things to get her into her own room. None have been successful up to now.
She takes two to three hours to settle for bed we're both literally worn out by the time she goes asleep. She wakes through the night too mainly to check that I'm there.
She goes to a dance class on a Saturday and attends a club for SEN children. I do get DLA for her and use this mainly on her taking her out etc...
Find. Out were there are specialist schools for that condition

She is probably too young at the moment to have developed any special aptitude for music or art or maths, but many children on the Spectrum show great ability in one particular thing.

Try to find out if there is a regional school she could go to

Search for the National Autism Society website and help line
Could part of your daughters behaviour be related to bereavement, do you think? I don't know the answer to this question, but are there any qualified counsellors that both you and your daughter could get support from?
I always lock the bathroom door. I will NOT have an audience in there!
You need to start setting clear boundaries, showing when "No" means just that. The longer you leave it, the worse it will be.
Choose your battles carefully. My husband worked 7 days a week regularly during the winter months, the children seldom saw him (but made up for it in summer) so I was usually caring for them on my own.
Is your daughter's bedroom really safe for her? Then you could shut her in there, for her own safety, when you are in the bathroom. (When my son went through a phase of not sleeping well, I had to lock him in his bedroom at 11pm).
Can you discuss how she is at home with a psychologist?
kirstieF74 wrote:Thank you for your advice I'll contact them today and get the ball rolling.
My daughter is very clingy with me, has to be in the same room as me always, even the toilet. She sleeps with me too. I have tried a whole range of things to get her into her own room. None have been successful up to now.
She takes two to three hours to settle for bed we're both literally worn out by the time she goes asleep. She wakes through the night too mainly to check that I'm there.
She goes to a dance class on a Saturday and attends a club for SEN children. I do get DLA for her and use this mainly on her taking her out etc...
Some suggestions on reading...

http://www.chums.uk.com/how-loss-can-affect-children/
http://support.childbereavement.org.uk/ ... cial_educa

http://www.griefspeaks.com/id96.html

Some helpful ways to help bereaved children with learning disabilities:

1. Look together at photographs of the person who has died and share memories.
2. Sending greeting cards to the family, sibling, child
3. Encourage the grieving child to wear an article of clothing that may be a linking or comfort object to the person who died or is gone.
4. Having a pillow or blanket made from person’s clothes helps too.
5. Listen to the person’s favourite music
6. Make a book about the person who died
7. Light a candle on special days and share memories
8. Make a memory box. Child chooses what memories go inside.
9. Read books, Badgers Parting Gifts: sadness and joy in memories
10. Prepare them for the funeral, how to behave, what they will experience.
Thank you for all your replies lots of things to try xxx