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Update on M - Carers UK Forum

Update on M

For issues specific to autism / Asperger Syndrome.
My son M has autism and mild learning difficulties and has been employed in a shop for about 15 years. Unfortunately his employers and fellow employees have no understanding of autism, nor want to know how they can get the best work out of him. He is frequently sent outside for shouting - as advised by his employment support worker. The shouting happens mostly through frustration and worry about being asked to help out with other jobs when he is already doing something else. He has a list of things he must do each day, but first he must do whatever jobs the boss or any other worker gives him to do. Often he has to go in to work on a Saturday to complete his chores, which is a constant worry for him. His employment support worker talked about help with anger management for M and an autism awareness course for his employer, but neither happened. Now M's social worker is looking into help with his emotions, but nothing has been done about advising his employer about autism awareness. He has told them at work that he wants to leave and they want to know why. It sounds like they don't want him to leave as no answer he gives them satisfies them.

I could write more, but it's nearly midnight here and I should get to bed.

Hi Gilli,

I bet they don't want him to leave, he works hard, does the jobs they don't want to do and probably is on low pay. However, leaving may create him equal problems as the job gives him a routine and structure to his week.

The organisation at the work place doesn't sound very fair or autism friendly. I can't see any many employees being satisfied with a pay by results rather than a pay by the hour system.

His employment support sounds a waste of space. Have you tried contacting the National Autistic Society for advice or even better is there a local branch in your area?

Sad to hear your son's story. My brother has also authism and 30 years old now. In his previous employment, he got discriminated and being mocked by his workmates. What my parents did is to find an institution where he can work that can accept and understand his situation. He is now stable on his job for 5 years and counting. Austin Wood Refinishing

Sometime there are company that is not considerate and promotes discrimination. I hope your brother will find a company that can see his value and understand him very well. Bathroom Remodeling Tacoma
Hi Gilli

It is well re-searched that
Uncertainty is a big driver of anxiety in autism. I am not surprised he is feeling stressed.

They really do need more to create a predictable working environment for him, and as low arousal as possible. And one that minimises change.

Reasonable adjustments are needed, its not simply a case of getting him to conform.
Melly, M is partly paid by his employers, partly by the supported employment organization. His employers and fellow employees complain that he is too slow, but he works at the rate he is most comfortable with. He much prefers to stick with his own jobs and finish them, then help out with other jobs needing done. That was the arrangement his previous employment support worker made with M's previous employers - parents of his current employer. Both are husband and wife teams. He is not planning on leaving before he has something else in place. I haven't heard from his social worker since they had their meeting several weeks ago so I don't know what she has in mind. I printed out an article by the National Autistic Society about employing people on the autistic spectrum and gaver it to M to give to the employer's wife, which he did, but she just handed it back, commenting that everyone was different. If she or her husband were interested in finding out how they can get the best out of M I would certainly recommend they get in touch with the National Autistic Society and ask for help - yes there is a branch in Belfast, but they're more interested in M getting rid of 'that bad temper' of his.

Madison, so glad to hear of a positive outcome to your brother's story.

Robert, I'm not sure, but I think you were talking to me. Thank you. Watch this space for any developments.

Cloudygal, many thanks for your input. The people at M's work don't think that M's problems have anything to do with their treatment of or attitude towards him.

I was heartened to hear M's previous employer (H) call him 'good man' after M alerted him to a problem with some horses belonging to his son-in-law - their water trough was empty and although a neghbour has responsibility for it H appreciated M telling him about it and said he would get on to it. I don't think his current employers have ever thanked him.

I dealt with a very similar situation. I realized that the best way to go about it is to just care for my brother myself. No one can put the type of consideration as I can. Consider our situation. Best of luck.

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What happens when you get I'll or die?!
M is getting help with housing and employment. That's all I have time to write at the moment.


that sounds tentatively positive.

I hope you are ok, too,