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I need to sound off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

I need to sound off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For issues specific to autism / Asperger Syndrome.
Hello Willow,

Your post is so very sad and upsetting. You have been through so much this last year and my heart goes out to you. Lolly is doing well which is good news, but you and your husband are in desperate need of help for yourselves now and it is upsetting that Social Services cannot see this. Have you tried talking to your GP? Surely he will see how ill you are and be able to help and advise you?
I really hope that you are able to get the help that you need and deserve

Bluebird xx
Thank you both for your replies. It's nice to know someone listens.
Since lolly went into this care home at the beggining of Dec, even though she has a Social Worker, would you believe they have never once contacted us. They have never once rung us, or wrote to us to tell us how our child is doing. The care home itself think this is disgusting of Social Services. We as parents did not know they were meant to be updating us, but we have been told they should at least contact us once a month to speak about how Lolly is doing. I have no faith what so ever in Socail Services, it is so very poorly run.

The care home lolly is in say she is constantly on the go 24/7, she gone sort of hyper active. She seeks and needs lots and lots of attention. Which is something i could not give at home 24/7, even when i tried this it did not help. The only time lolly seemed happy was when she was in hospital with 24/7 observation. They have told me she is an attention seeker and that is what a lot of this is about.
This all started from the day lolly started at a Special School, a lot of the other girls at this school where in children homes and they told lolly how good it all was and all the attention they get etc etc. Lolly used to come home and tell me how great it sounded, but i never ever thought my child would end up in one, never.
We are a hard working family, both work, never smack our children, don't smoke or drink. We are a normal family, but how on earth has this happened.
She has run away and gone to London, run away and got in to a stangers car, twice.
Run away and gone off with some strange Polish man who said he would be her friend, and she stupidly believed him!! All this time the police are on the phone to me updating me on what is happening whist they are searching for her. I sit here crying, i get terrible chest pain now with the stress. This happens lots of time, only Thursday night she ran away, was finally found at 1am, i never get to sleep as i know the phone is going to ring, where she has run off or self harmed. We live on an knife edge all the time.
I also have another child at home who i care for, (she has lung disease)she has been really ill this last year. Her condition has got worse because of all the stress in our house. Then i am partially disabled myself, and hubby tries his hardest to do what he can. We don't live a normal life anymore and we don't know what a normal life is anymore.

It is nice to know people are out there and they listen. I can't speak to anyone in a similar situation to mine as i have never met anyone who has gone through this.
But thank you all for your support, it's very much appreciated.
I'm sitting here so very tired and want to go to bed. I can't... my child has gone missing again. She has run away and i have been sitting here not knowing what to do, worried sick waiting for the Police to let me know they have found her. This is the fourth time in four days she has done this. Yesterday she was given alcohol and was very sick, and she came home back to the home with a man in his thirties (she has just been sixteen and is Autistic) he quickly got in his car before my daughters carers could talk to him, he has been texting her today from a with held number asking her to meet him and now she has dissapeared.
Prayers please.
Surrey to appeal social services bad rating - Surrey Herald Social workers have warned there could be another Baby P scandal in Surrey after the county council's children's services were rated the joint worst in Britain:(BY A GOVERNMENT AUDIT COMMISION) I HAVE PERSONALLY CHALLENGED THEM ON POLICY AND WON INCLUDING COMPENSATION.
DO NOT UNDER ESTIMATE THEIR ABILTY TO SWEEP MATTERS UNDER THE CARPET ,THIS IS ONE SKILL THEY ARE EXPERT AT.
YOU ARE IN A WEAK STATE AND THEY WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT AS THEY WILL BE SAVING LOTS OF MONEY.
EXCEPT YOU NEED HELP TO GET A PROPER DIAGNOSES AND A PROPER CARE PLAN IN PLACE.
I SUGEST YOU..CONSULT YOU GP THEN FIND A SOLICITOR WHO SPECIALISES IN SOCIAL CARE,TAKE ALL YOUR PAPERWORK FROM SS WITH YOU AND TELL THEM WHAT IS GOING ON.
iF YOU HAVE A CARE PLAN OR SIMILAR THEN THEY ARE ACTING UNLAWFULLY.
I ALSO SPENT YEARS CHASING MY AUTISTIC SON AROUND AND FOUGHT BATTLE AFTER BATTLE.
________
Uhwh
All these 'professionals' keep telling you what they can't do.........NOBODY prepared to tell you what they CAN do. I KNOW teens grab attention & I KNOW Lolly is not a child anymore. (15 is more adult than child these days)

These are the kind of stories that make news at 10! 'Social services failed to pick up on the warning signs even after xxx visits to the home'. Does she have to die & you be charged with neglecting her(sorry) before anyone gets to help? You MAY be overreacting.....You MAY be over-protective, but if you are not, then who WILL??? They have already proved they don't want to know. Image

Lolly needs to be listened to, lots of hugs & joint activities with her parents, who obviously love & care for her & if you don't, who else will? Please try to be strong for her, even if it takes your last ounce of strength & energy. Lolly needs you & you need her. Plus another child with health problems.....That's got to be tough

I wish you all much love & pray you find the strength to go on.
I am sad to hear of all the trouble you have with your lolly, I hope she's found safe and well. However, you could have been helped if the professionals was up to scratch in the first place. If you do get any chance try ringing up the National Autistic Society 0845 070 4004, 10am - 4pm. Your Pyschiatrist sounds crappy, they would advise you about Pyschiatrists who are specialised in ASD and Autism near your area, also ask for an advocate who can negotiate on your behalf against Social Services. When you ask for help you should get it, the main thing is social services should listen to the main carers, they haven't had to live in these situations and they get paid to listen and help.

Please let us know how you get on, we all feel for you, my daughter has severe autism and she's always biting herself badly, it hurts me, can't stop it even though she's now 28 years old. A new one just this month is pulling out her fringe because its long, she don't want it cut, so now we have a bald patch. But nothing what you're going through.
Hi there l hope by now they have found your daughter its a disgrace what is allowed to happen you must be out of your mind with worry hope you get a solution soon

Petty l was interested when l saw your post about your daughter pulling out her hair my daughter is 23 and has Autism amongst other things and she is losing her hair due to her pulling it out and docs say ther is nothing they can do all they said was buy her a hat , what have l to glue it to her head because that is what it will take

Hope all works out ok for you willow

take care
Jeanxx
Willow,

I can't begin to imagine the stress you are under. I so hope lolly has been found. I can't add to what has already been said, other than to say keep fighting. Sending much love and best wishes. Thinking of you all xxx