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caring for brother

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 6:36 pm
by Amy_1502
Hello,
I am Amy, 28 and I care for my little brother 23. I work full time and go to college as well. I find it very hard to cope with work/college/caring. I feel exhausted, guilty, not organised etc. When I tell people around me they usually say thing like "get over it, you're young, you can do this". I have lost many friends because I dont find the time to go out.
I am late for many things like college work. I dont know what to do.

Amy

Re: caring for brother

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 7:55 pm
by bowlingbun
Hi Amy, welcome to the forum. Might I ask why you have been left to care for your brother alone, without any help at all, by the sound of it? I am now 63, but have been a carer ever since I was 27, when my younger son was brain damaged at birth. It is one thing to care for your child, but I'm strongly opposed to siblings being left to care, for a variety of reasons. You are going to get very ill if you don't get help. First stop, Social Services department for a "Needs Assessment" for your brother, and a "Carers Assessment" for yourself. Asking for help is vital if you are to have any chance of a normal life, which you deserve. I'll leave another member to talk about college, as she is a newly retired lecturer. Is your brother getting all the benefits he's entitled to? A lot depends on his age and disability. Carers UK has a dedicated helpline for carers, feel free to ring them, or if they are busy, email them. They made me £50 a week better off, so I'm happy to say how good they are.

Re: caring for brother

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 7:58 pm
by Melly1
Hi Amy,

Last time you posted you said your brother had an undiagnosed problem. Does the fact that you are posting in this section mean you suspect he is on the autistic spectrum or has he recently been diagnosed? The answer to this question influences what you do next.

Anyone saying that as you are young you can therefore cope with caring AND working AND studying, do not know what they are talking about! Unfortunately it takes a carer to understand what it's like to be a carer.

Do you or your brother receive any support?

Melly1

Re: caring for brother

Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2015 8:38 pm
by Amy_1502
My brother recently had a needs assessment and I had a carer's assessment. All this took me a while as I was unable to walk properly for several months. Next step is to make an appointment with the GP for my brother so that he can start being diagnosed. Every time I rang, no one picked up the phone or the doctor was not here! I feel I am a failure as I struggle for all this administrative things. I have dyspraxia and I feel I am so slow to understand things!
For the moment teachers and social workers think my brother might have autism.

Re: caring for brother

Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 9:02 am
by Melly1
Hi Amy,

Our GP is the same, getting through is a nightmare, I usually make myself a drink to have whilst I try and get through. You'll get through eventually.

You mention your brother's teachers. Do you mean from when he was at school?

If you haven't visited this, http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Autism/Pages ... dults.aspx you and your brother might find it useful.

Don't give up.

Melly1

Re: caring for brother

Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 4:35 pm
by Amy_1502
Hello,
my brother currently studies GCSE English at college.
I learnt our parents are moving. They only contact us for Christmas and birthdays. Yesterday was my birthday, I got an email from my dad wishing a happy birthday but no mention that they are moving. I am scared they want to "disappear" just last they previously did with other members of the family. I asked my brother if he knew anything but he doesnt. We are both affected by this situation and I am worried things might get worse.
Amy

Re: caring for brother

Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 4:42 pm
by bowlingbun
Hi Amy,
Where do you and your brother live? I'm really concerned that your parents are moving, yet apparently not telling you anything. That's not fair, and it's not normal either. Whilst this forum can offer you advice, we are too spread out to offer any practical help. Can I suggest you get back in touch with Social Services and tell them about your worries that mum and dad might be moving. Did they offer you any more support after your Carers Assessment and your brother's Needs Assessment?