Caring for 3 with ASD

[Emma_201012]

I hold my hands up to you. Have have 2 boys with asd. Aged 5 and 18. I had to go back to work for my mental health. Luckily I have an amazing husband who does the nights while I am at work. You should never be ashamed of staying at home and caring for your children. You should do what is best for you. Ignore what others say and continue to be an amazing mummy x

[Donna_2010]

Hi there , I'm new on here but not new to caring. All 3 of my children have Autism Two are still in school and the other is now working having been in special education all his life . I'd like to say that over the years some people's attitudes to caring for family members has changed but sadly I still experience the stigma of people who think I should also be employed in a normal job too. This makes me feel like I'm somehow failing at life and that I should still be able to look after my 3, 24/7 and still go out to work I'm exhausted permanently and doing this on my own and everyone needs a piece of me and tbh there's nothing left for me!.

Hello... I am new here too. I have three children aged 14, 13 and 10.... my 14 year old son was first diagnosed with ADHD, then later with Autism. My daughter was then diagnosed with Autism and also ADHD. I have only just gone through the process for the third time and my 13 year old son was just diagnosed this month with Autism.... I thought it was uncommon to have all three with a diagnosis but in a way its good to know I am not alone in having all three of my children with a diagnosis! All three of mine are still in school, the oldest two are in mainstream high school and seem to be coping ok however I think my daughter will struggle! You are not failing and you are not alone.... just do what you can and put yourself and your kids first.... hope you can find space for some "me time" too... x

[Janet_1601]

Hello,

I just wanted to reiterate what other posters have said. Caring is a job and you should be very proud that your eldest son has found employment. This is an achievement that probably would not have been possible without your commitment to care.

[Lucy_2010]

I agree. I kept getting harrassed about working or not working from SS for years and I struggled. Now my ASD son is with his dad and locked in his room every night. He has a rare syndrome that causes breathing difficulties and SS are refusing to help him. So sometimes carrying on going to work is not the right answer! I feel so much guilt at what is now happening to my son as a consequence of me being desperate to keep working. And now because of all this I cant work. My mental health is destroyed. So I am gonna take my hat off to you and say well done I am shocked at what is happening to my son and because he is not with me I have very little control to help him now. He is being left to rot.

[Gilli]

Welcome to the forum, Lisa and Lucy! I have 3 adult children on the autistic spectrum. I have one other son - the eldest - who is neurotypical. I didn't experience any criticism with regard to my employment status when they were younger, but have been judged as financially abusing my son, amongst other misdemeanours, because I asked him to contribute housekeeping money. Of course, these criticisms are never levelled at me directly, just via my son.

I'm sure your critics would not like to be in your shoes for one day if they found out what it is really like. Some people make judgements when they don't know the real situation people are in, or they assume incorrectly that they do know.

Gilli