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Autism - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum


For issues specific to autism / Asperger Syndrome.
Hi Katie
You have 2 years until he is 18 so try not to worry too muchtoo soon. Instead try spending the time preparing him to be an independent adult.
Tell him all the things he will need to do for himself such as cleaning , cooking, laundry, working, earning, paying bills, getting himself up in the morning etc.
As you start to teach him one thing ata time, starting with his most hated such as cleaning, You may well find that he slowly starts to realise that it is not such a good idea after all
Try also doing the equivalent of star chart where you list everything he needs to know . It will look more daunting when it's written down and displayed and the ticks get harder to achieve.

Of course if he does achieve them all, then he will be able to independent. :P

You will have to be firm , for example if he is to do his own laundry then don't step in (once he's been taught enough) . Pace it, don't do it all at once as that will overload him and graduallyyou may find his intention changes and he finds something else to

I have a male relative with autism who has a thing against most cleaning chemicals, but gradually he even takes part in washing up - he does the drying. He loathed living on his own as he hates dirt but also hates cleaning. :roll:
Thanks mrs average that's very helpful actually if I do write all the stuff down he needs to do it might just make him think it's too overwhelming!
He goads me everyday saying he will leave on his 18th birthday and live with someone called Declan in Birmingham, he thinks the best in everything and thinks him and this boy will be doing some sort of business I suggest it will be illegal and ben is going to get in trouble.
Ben knows at 18 he can leave and there is nothing I can do but get the police to do welfare checks and he will say he's fine!
Ben says he doesn't want to keep in touch with me etc
Have you met this Declan?
If you haven't and Ben has only met him online, you could ask the police to check him out for possible grooming as Ben is a vulnerable young person.

Check out the Breck Foundation a charity set up by a mum after her son was duped online, and sadly murdered by the groomer who tempted him with promises of running a business. There lots of useful advice on staying safe online
Another update on a situation getting out of control!
Ben has found out via the internet he can leave home at 16! Not 18 without parents consent as long as it's classed as a safe place even friends sofas etc are deemed ok I rang social worker who confirmed it. He's now stopped going to school as can't be bothered and is trying to get a lift to go to his so called friends. I live in the countryside and his OCD would not allow him to walk or take a bus because of the dirt.
He asks me to take him of course I refused. I want him to be safe but I do fear ben has to learn a lesson for himself how tough the outside world is! But he is vulnerable so extremely concerned 😳
At home he's a nightmare to live with controlling, arrogant will goad me every day for reactions.
Social worker have told me they won't be giving me any respite which makes matters worse as I have no break.
I hope I don't have a breakdown myself
What benefits are you currently claiming for hin? Are you his DWP appointee?
I'm his appointee I've got someone coming round in a week from pip regarding the change from dla to pip I hope it's nothing to worry about as ben needs this money moving forward
Hi everyone I need some help...
My son has autism and spends everyday in his room has only been to school a few days since September.
He is suffering from depression and says he has suicide thoughts.
He's 17 adult mental health and canhs are arguing the toss who takes him on.
He doesn't eat properly either...
Had a meeting today and they said we are at risk of him being admitted to hospital this is my biggest fear as I'm not sure he would cope in there.
I'm so scared for him anything any body could recommend...
Please hrlo
Hi Katie
I have a relative with autism who has been in MH hospitals several times.. I also have a son who had long term depression.

These days when anyone is admitted to a MH unit or hospital it is primarily to administer anti-psychotic drugs. There is very little other therapy, and their knoweldge and practice around autism is patchy or low at best. There are pathways they are supposed to follow but these rarely filter down to the day to day staff.
I am not a doctor or psychiatrist and don't know if you son is psychotic or depressed, or something else, but I would hope you can persuade them to try antidepressents first. If he is having or starting a psychotic episode then antidepressants may slow it down but it will still develop and he may need to progress to being an inpatient for a while, but at least you will have tried first.

Mind has much information on MH admissions, the legalities and the practicalities
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-sup ... al-rights/

After each admission my relative has come out less extreme (of courses he only goes in when his extreme is seriously affecting him or others), but of course the initial admission is stressful (for all, and there is little or no support for carers or relatives) and the inside of an acute unit is not a good sensory or mental experience for someone on the spectrum. My relative has learned to cope with admissions but to course they don't help his underlying low self esteem.

There is free legal help re sectioning and admissions available if you need it, and advocates. Check out too if there is any local support group for parents like you.

I'm sorry if this comes across as bleak, but I think you need to be realistic about what may happen at some point in his life. You will need to be his champion and his information source, and his terrier at fighting for his rights

Meanwhile, love him and care for him. See if you can get him to open up more about why he is feeling like this now (though I know how difficult this is, sorry). Talk to him about what life in a MH unit would be, no phone, no internet, no cables for charging, noisy residents. He might just have enough willpower to get himself out of this down to prevent an admission, but it is a long shot. In our experience getting our relative out of a low is as difficult as getting him to change an obsession :roll: you'll understand :)

I have no knowledge of the CAMHS / adult transition or borders, sorry. I just know neither will want the responsibility . You may need to make formal complaints so keep records of who you speak to and when, try to follow up every call with an e-mail so it's documented.

In all of this you need to make sure you are supported and stay well yourself, it will be a long haul

Hi Katie,
I'm sorry you and your son are still experiencing real problems with his MH and behaviour.

Mrs. A has offered some great advice. You could print off info from the Internet about MH inpatient settings to help him understand the reality of what they are like. I hope you are able to secure help for him before an admission is necessary; from the experiences of some of my friend's sons the level of ASC expertise, even in MH hospitals for those with ASC, is very poor.

If the GP will agree to prescribe antidepressants, ensure it is the lowest dose possible, as brains with ASC are neurologically different to neurotypical brains and more sensitive to meds that act on the brain.

Thanks so much for all your response very interesting information I really hope it doesn't come to this I think he would be very distressed having to autism it would not suit him but equally he urgently needs help