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26M looking for help/wisdom - Carers UK Forum

26M looking for help/wisdom

For issues specific to autism / Asperger Syndrome.
I’ve been told my entire life that I have severe ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder, and my doctor has thrown all kinds of pills at me to ‘fix’ this over my lifetime but they’ve never helped. Over the last year or so I’ve started to consider whether or not my behaviors put me someplace on the spectrum. I wanted to share them and hear from this community on how relatable these traits/behaviors are for you before I engage in stronger advocacy with my doctor (or end our relationship).

-I pace miles a day, often so lost in my thoughts that I only see what’s playing in my head, not what’s in front of my eyes...I’ve run into walls and objects plenty.

-When at rest but also especially when pacing or very engaged/excited about something, I do a lot of stimming (only recently learned there was a word for this). Mine are hand flapping, jaw movement, head rocking, and holding my arms and/or sides.

-I have been filing this under ‘introversion’ but I find friendships/relationships very difficult to maintain, especially when they interrupt anything routine or predictable about my life. I have trouble communicating this honestly and leave a lot of people very upset with me as a result.

-I have been filing this under ‘ADHD?’ but my interests seem to consist of: obsessions, things I’m not at all interested in, and things I used to be obsessed with but have exhausted. There is no middle ground. -I have been filing this under ‘anxiety’ but crowded places, especially places with lots of sensory stimulation, make me want to run and hide someplace safe.

-I have been filing this under ‘I’m weird’ but I find it impossible to get through social interactions by feeling (vs. thinking). In fact, there are few, if any things that makes me emotional at all. I am always attempting to read the other person and imagine what I should say or do to respond to their cues. This would be great except, it seems that I’m not very good at it. People often seem to respond to me in ways that I don’t expect, and I always figured I just was inappropriate in some way (socially I mean). I am starting to wonder whether I am reading cues incorrectly and thus interacting poorly. This also gives me tremendous anxiety and I forego a lot of socializing to avoid this.

I could go into more detail about all of my little social behaviors but I was hoping that these broad strokes would be enough to get some feedback on.

I am not trying to self-diagnose. I am trying to determine if I’ve been misdiagnosed, but to make that determination with certainty I’d like to know what kind of professional help/consultation I should be seeking.

If you read this whole thing, thanks!

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Hi Elean,
Those certainly sound like autism traits. It could be that you have a dual / co-morbid condition of ADHD and autism. You will only find out for sure by having an assessment.

In the meantime, you could look at the National Autistic Society website for information on getting a diagnosis

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-gu ... sis/adults

and try out some of their strategies and see if they help you.

Did you consider visiting another doctor see if they have a different diagnosis to your situation? It would be best to have a second opinion.
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I am no expert in this matter nor do I make myself out to be one to look to for advice, I'm simply stating my opinion. But what I believe in many cases, that these types of "symptoms" may seem to be some sort of disorder but I really feel society has trained us to see them that way when in fact they just might be strengths that we just haven't learned to master or manage in order to improve our lifestyle. Don't know if I'm making any sense but all I'm trying to say is that I think a lot of times people perceive these type of disorders as a bad thing to be treated and fixed when in reality they might actually be very beneficial if we had some sort of guidance appropriate to your experiences. My wife has worked with adults with autism, adhd, etc and other common forms of similar experiences. And she has seen a huge benefit in those who have it, and has learned to help them see how they might just perceive things a little differently, feel things a little more, move a little more than others or whatever the case may be. My advice and again it is just my opinion is to find a doctor or caregiver that is truly invested in people with similar issues, someone who is genuine about bringing out the best in you and teaching you to maybe use what you might see as negative to be positive. You might not feel you fit into the social norm that people have created and therefore forced you to conform to, but I think you are much more than that. Just my thoughts, hope it helps! -Bob windowcleaningregina.com littlediamondbaby.com