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Urgh!!! help - Carers UK Forum

Urgh!!! help

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
I know this is not the usual place but I did't know who to ask and I love this forum, its gave me much needed advice at times and I do not now if anyone will b able to help, but here I go.

As some of you might know I am on here due to being in the position of a carer to my mother who had a unfortunate accident in 2016, that one twist of fate put a stop to her mobility, anyway we have a front and small front garden, well the front is only a bit on a parking bay, which we don't really need as we don't drive, anyway we are stuck with it, but now I am really finding the gardens are getting a bit much for me, I sometimes manage to mow the back, although that is getting to much for me on my own, as my mother tries to help me with clearing up after, but she can't really help so it is left to me, like everything really, also I am trying my best to hold down a full time job as well, as I said it is only a little front bit and really look like mostly tall weeds, so probably wouldn't take long to do, thus does anyone know of any local reasonable gardeners as I live in Stratford East London thats E15, with the possibility of becoming a regular job? or failing that does anyone know of any good sites I could advertise for this?

Are there any services like this to help carers at all?

Thanks in advance

Samantha x
Samantha, get rid of the garden!
When I was disabled that was what I had to do. All the borders were emptied via Freecycle, and turned to lawn, which my sons mow for me.
I KNOW it's not what you or mum want, but it's the only answer. Even better, have it slabbed.
Your health and wellbeing is far more important than the weeds.
I don't have any personal info for that area, but have you tried looking at Ad boards in Newsagents and Supermarkets? They often have cards for all sorts of services. Failing that, google maps is always worth a try.

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/search/ga ... 1806?hl=en
bowlingbun wrote:
Sun Sep 13, 2020 11:05 am
Samantha, get rid of the garden!
When I was disabled that was what I had to do. All the borders were emptied via Freecycle, and turned to lawn, which my sons mow for me.
I KNOW it's not what you or mum want, but it's the only answer. Even better, have it slabbed.
Your health and wellbeing is far more important than the weeds.
Thats exactly what I feel like doing :mad: , you misunderstood it is I should of made it plainer, they both are not gardens as such containing plants and that, we got rid of those a while back, so all we are left with are lawns. You are really lucky you have someone to mow it for you, we have literally literally nobody to mow it for us, its really getting me down :o when it comes to doing it. We live in a two bed housing association, which suits us, also its ok really where we are its just the house has a parking bay, hence the little lawn and side grassy verge. I do not know if we could go ahead and have it slabbed over and then there is the cost, anyway I don't know who would do it for us at a reasonable rate and its not even as if its our own house. We could enquire at the Housing and state we have a parking bay that is going to waste as its useless to us, and we really could do without the lawns, but we fear they would only offer us a flat, so I fear the only answer for now is to get a regular garden, I mean it only needs mowing nown and again.

I have heard carers can get support, but surely you can get services like this for carers?


Samantha
In that case, have you got a strimmer?
They are great for weeds and edge bits, and very safe. M, my son with learning difficulties, can manage one without a problem. He has a residual circuit breaker for extra electrical safety, it plugs in, and then the strimmer plugs into it I think.
I used to be involved with Guides, and did my Duke of Edinburgh's Bronze award.
There might be a Guide or Scout who would love to help to work towards a badge?
The idea of someone using your parking spot and mowing your lawn in return seems appealing too.
The idea of someone using your parking spot and mowing your lawn in return seems appealing too.
That crossed my mind too.

Melly1
Melly1 wrote:
Sun Sep 13, 2020 3:36 pm
The idea of someone using your parking spot and mowing your lawn in return seems appealing too.
That crossed my mind too.

Melly1
That's a idea :idea: hmmmm, as sometimes if I don't put the bins across our parking bay, I do that as I got fed up of people just parking there what I was at work!! and my mother was still in Australia, so I would come back to some strange car in the drive!!, nice idea but although I can't see that happening I'll suggest that if someone knocks again or parks there, I should think you would get them to mow it before as whats to stop them just coming back to collect their car and driving off.

Anyhow I have just got someone to mow it next Saturday for £20, bit much for what it is, but at least I know it will get done and oh I do hate doing it, then I will go over it with the weedkiller, i know I should summon up the energy and kick myself up the backside to do it with a Strimmer Bowlingbun, but after a busy week at work thats the last thing I want to do, the weekend goes quick enough, I mean thats the only time I get to take my mother out in her chair as she is stuck in all week, and then she usually lies down a hell of a lot as she gets really tired these days, and I am u usually doing housework if I am not taking her out.

Sam
You need to introduce someone else into your life, a carer, or nurse, or domestic so that you get some rest when you are at home.
When did you last have a carers assessment from Social Services?
When did mum last have a Needs Assessment from SSD?
bowlingbun wrote:
Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:03 pm
You need to introduce someone else into your life, a carer, or nurse, or domestic so that you get some rest when you are at home.
When did you last have a carers assessment from Social Services?
When did mum last have a Needs Assessment from SSD?

I think she used to have a nurse come around in 2016 to give her some exercises for her hip, when she first came back, and that was just for 6 visits after that it stopped, she also had an assessment, probably due to the brain hematoma she had, but that was ok but they wanted us to go down to Plaistow memory clinic for for some reason but I couldn’t get her down there, so that was left. I mean I had to call up to get her a wheelchair when she first came back as there was no way she could go out, it’s just lucky my sister was visiting so she could pick it up otherwise we would of had to wait till they delivered it, they are not the most helpful of people. She is currently under a doctor from the Plaistow memory clinic that keeps in contact to keep an eye on her but they aren’t sending anyone down to check her, I thought they were but I had a letter for just a telephone consultation as always in November!.
Unfortunately, health and social services don't talk to each other!!
In effect, you are now "parenting" your mum.
YOU are now in charge, because without you, mum wouldn't be able to manage in her own home without your support.
Help may be available from other places, but it depends on the answers to a few questions first.

How old is mum?
Is mum claiming Attendance Allowance? (Not means tested)
If mum is getting support from a memory clinic, has anyone told you that people with memory problems, dementia etc. are EXEMPT from Council Tax, from the day of diagnosis/referral?
Does she have any other health issues?

Does mum have over £23,000 in savings? (Yes/No)
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Does mum own or rent her home?