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Watch with Mother - Page 6 - Carers UK Forum

Watch with Mother

Socialise and chat about other areas of your life
84 posts
Sajehar,
Wow how fantastic that you and your friend just left off where you were, hope you are going to stay in contact with her now, especially now you have more in common.

Am envious of you having a curry with a friend, I don't have anyone near that I can do that with unfortunately with all of my friends being in Australia or New Zealand, bit far for them to come just for a curry lol.
Bit like Billy No Mates here but don't really mind as my old work mates have slowly drifted off onto new lives, I was the first one to move away for 4 years so didn't expect them to wait round for me.

Are you going to meet up again?
Enjoy your music Image
Hi Kiwijaz
Me and my carer mate are going to make our mate dates a weekly thing, taking it in turns to organise them. I’m going to her neck of the woods next week. My flat isn’t far from where she lives, so no having to cut the evening short because of catching trains. I’ve given her the days my dad has appointments next week, and she’s going to work around them.
Noways can I drive back to me parents at 6am, still hung over from the night before. I won’t even drive after a sherry trifle!
She phoned me about 4.30pm today to let me know she’s arranged something for Monday night. It’s a surprise and she won’t tell me what we’re going to be doing. She used to be a fitness fanatic so I bet she’s booked us in for a Zumba class or something. She hasn’t told me to bring workout clothes though, so maybe not. I’m to meet her at the Post Office pub at 7pm next Monday.

My dad’s chuffed to bits. I think he’s been getting concerned that I’ve become a bit of a recluse, and he’s right, I have. Apart from my brother’s family, I don’t know anybody here anymore.
He keeps trying to persuade me to go to evening classes to meet new people, and get out of the house for a change of scenery. There are loads around here and range from £3 - £8. Most offer concessions if you’re on various benefits, and some are even free! So there’s no excuse really for me not to try some out. Pottery maybe, or re-take up painting again? Think I’ll give learning Mandarin Chinese a miss though!
Maybe you could do something similar? I’m lucky coz I can always let dad mumsit mum in the evenings. Perhaps it’s not so easy for you, seeing as how it’s just you and her. Not to mention all your health problems.

Me dad’s insisted I take 3 days off as I haven’t had a proper break for weeks, and pack myself off to my flat till Tuesday Afternoon. He’s arranged for one of my bro’s to stay the weekend with them. I’m going across the water tonight once mum’s tucked up in bed, usually about 9pm ish. He’s also slipped me a wedge of notes with strict instructions to shop till I drop, and no going into charity shops. My clothes are a bloody disgrace, according to him, and I need a decent haircut too. He’s as bad as Anne001’s mum!
I’ve also decided to drop by my mate’s place unannounced, and offer to mumsit her mum for an afternoon or evening, so’s she can go out too. Assuming her mum still remembers me, that is.

Chow for now. Image This is my fave emoticon so far. It always leaves a great big grin on my face when ever I see it.
Oh, my Amrak! I've just counted the wodge of money dad gave me. I just shoved the envelope in my bumbag, as I was a bit embaressed. I though it would be about £30, maybe £50... he's kind of stuck in the 1970's when it comes to the cost of things. It's £150!!!!
This had better not be from mum's AA; I've got plans for that. I'll have to have a word with him when mum's gone to bed. I'm not happy about this at all.
Dad has made a very generous gesture, so just say "Are you sure?" and as long as he is, accept it with grace and thanks, and enjoy giving yourself a little treat.
Hi Sajehar,
Wow aren't you the lucky one, my mother only allows me to go out when I have either got an appointment or there is something she wants, as long as I am not out too long.
A few months ago my friends in Australia offered to assist with the flights to Australia for my good friend's 50th birthday. I approached mother about it after discussing with my neighbours if they would be willing to look after her (he was off work), all good, mother on the other hand was no way in God's hell are you going and leaving me. It isn't worth it for a couple of days, I didn't have the heart to tell her I was planning weeks instead of days.
Oh well shit happens - period.
Party over and done with, now a distant memory of what could have been.

I am too tired at night to go out, though I should make an effort because I am becoming a recluse, stuck at home.
Must get on as today is cleaning day and my week for a massive clean (that is where I clean everything).
Enjoy your weekend everyone
Dear Bowlingbun,

You really are the Keeper of the Sacred Secrets, aren’t you? Your ancient wisdom knows no bounds. Shame I didn’t read your reply until this morning.
Mum didn’t go to bed till 10pm last night as she wanted to watch Mrs Brown’s Boys. She laughed like a drain throughout, but I couldn’t join in as normal.
Once she’d settled down, I had a right go at dad. He got mad at me, brandishing my winter coat in front of me (it is a bit manky) and practically threw these pill things at me.
That stopped me in my tracks. These pills are for my hair; it’s been falling out, and I’ve taken to wearing a cap all the time.
I’m as bad as my mum, apparently. .. Stubborn as a mule!
In the middle of this argy bargie, my SIL (you let me know wot those letters stood for) rang, wanting to know what we were doing for my parents wedding anniversary.
That put an end to our squabbling. I looked at him, he looked at me; we’d both forgotten about their wedding anniversary!

But that explains my mum’s weird behaviour a couple of days ago. She goes into her bedroom about mid-day to listen to the radio, as per usual, contentedly sitting in her armchair there. I leave her to it; content in the knowledge she’s safe. What harm can come to her in an armchair? This is her last bastion of privacy, and I NEVER enter, unless invited.
20 minutes later, she calls out to me. I’m in there like a shot. She was perched on a chair rummaging through the built-in-cupboards. She couldn’t get down, and needed my help.
How the hell she got up on that chair I’ll never know. It scared the bejesuses out of me. She could of so easily fallen, and broken her hip or something.
It transpired she was looking for her wedding album. Once we’d found it, mum and me spent a fascinating hour going through it. She’d even kept her telegrams (now that’s cut & paste, quite literally!)

I think, deep down, in her subconscious, she knew it was her wedding anniversary, and this was her way of telling us. She always used to know everybody’s birthdays, etc..
Maybe it’s her last one?

Either way, dad and me stopped arguing about money… still don’t know where it came from, though!
I am lucky! No two ways about that.
I listen to you lot, and I realize that now.

I've got no health problems, unlike you lot, but being a carer still occasionally doe's my head in.
I'm beginning to understand that it's the stress and strain of it.... give me time!
If you lot can't.... who can?
Anyway.... We decided to give her a small breakfast, in the hope that she'd be hungry enuff for a meal meal. Probably won't work, but who cares!
Mum loves having her grand kids around, etc. But it was too late last night to go to Morison's to get joints of meat, etc.
We're going for a pub meal instead! It's now my job to check with manager they can handle a table of 12!

I shall do so with pleasure!
Hope it works out and you all have a lovely time Image
Hi Sajehar,

Hope you have a wonderful day today with all the family and it is stress free.

Last "family" meal I had was in Australia with my "then" daughter, granddaughter, brother, SIL and her family, that was over 5 years ago.
As in "Family" capital f meaning mother, father etc was in 1975.
My family come from a long line of "not speaking" families and when I came to the UK for the first time and met the extended family, I laughed as different members weren't speaking to one another. It did make me feel a lot better to realise we are all dysfunctional Image

We are out again for lunch, not sure where today - mother can make that choice today.

Have fun
84 posts