Watch with Mother

[crocus]

Hey sajehar, dont go beating yourself up. The fact is that no-one understands what is like to be a carer unless they are a carer themselves. We have all come across the problems of misunderstanding - in my case its because hubby appears quite normal when people meet him and no-one can understand what I have to do to look after him and why I have to work part-time. Quips like "must be nice not to have to do anything on your days off" are par for the course. These are not horrid people, they just cant imagine what it would be like - I dont think I understood myself what it would be like until it happened.

[Kiwigaz]

Hello Sajehar, Crocus and others,

Well I am not sure about this karma thing, unless it also haunts back to a previous life.
When I was in my early 20's I had a nervous breakdown, my mother horrified that one of her sons was a lunatic and nutcase (her words), banned me from the family for over 18 years. So there I was with a wife and baby and no family support.
Years later my father died and I never got to see him and was forbidden to go to the funeral.
My marriage broke up and a year later heard that my mother was coming to England to get married to an old friend and the family were against it, so through a family friend I gave my support and wished her all the luck for the future. Unfortunately the marriage only last 3 years as he died of a heart attack.
Years on: mother lives with me and I look after her, over the past 3 years she has stopped doing most things and just sits and does her wordsearches, watching telly and smoking.
Funny isn't it how she can't get up to make a cup of coffee but she can go outside for a fag lol.
So things have really turned round, the family she had a lot to do with now no one is in contact, just mother and I on this side of the world.
Plus with my new medical problems I am unable to work at present and am on the very basic allowance. So much for karma

[crocus]

Kiwiaz - I dont think I believe in karma, otherwise it means we all deserve the s*** we have to deal with and I dont think any of us do.
I think the trick is to make the most of the hand we get dealt - and some do get dealt lousy hands.

[Treez]

Got in in one Crocus, some do get dealt a lousy hand, we just have to deal with it the best we can....keep smiling, tekin the tablets, and that maniacal laughter can be disguised as happiness if you try hard enough, people think I'd dead happy

[Sajehar]

Kiwigaz
I agree with Treez, Crocus has got it right. So I've just invented a new work, amrak, in your honour. It means most shit happens, most of the time because of the luck of the draw... end of!
After all, if karma really existed then how come most god awful people seem to land on their feet and have the luck of the devil? Take Attila the Hun. This maniac slaughtered entire cities across half the know world, yet he lived to a ripe old age and died whilst deflowering a virgin. Or was that Genghis Khan? Either way, karma didn't apply to him, although the cities he eyed up definitely had a bad case of amrak.

Anyway, thanks to you and your previous post (wot got me thinking) I've recontacted my old carer friend. It took me several hours to pluck up the guts to do so. I honestly thought she'd tell me to get lost, and I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. But the opposite happened, she was dead chuffed to hear from me. We're in the middle of making arrangements so's we can meet up for a curry pub meal at Weatherspoon's.
I shall raise a toast to you Kiwigaz with me white wine spritzer

P.S. Crocus and No1mum have been helping me out with downloading smilie things. I hadn't got a clue but, thanks to their help, I'm an expert now!

[no1mum]

More crocus than me, I only posted the link up, didn't have a clue how it worked.

[Sajehar]

Don't knock yourself No1mum

Without you're link I'd never have been able to work out smilie stuff.

See, I've just proved my point. Without your initial advice, I'd have got nowhere. I think that deserves a cyber pint too!

[Kiwigaz]

Hello again,
Bright and early again this morning, though I have to admit that I did sleep in this morning till 5:30 must have needed it I always say.
Sajehar, I love amrak and think I will use that from now on it did make me laugh.

I make it sound like I have had a terrible life when in fact I have been blessed with things in my past and present that I must admit I have taken for granted and now realise that I should have appreciated them more at the time - hindsight.
Now with everything that is happening at present, I make sure that I do appreciate what I have. I make sure I don't regret things though as it can taint memories, I may have done things different if I knew better but at the time I thought I did the right thing.

I thought mother would enjoy watching Surprise Surprise last night but one look at Holly Willoughby in that tight fitting dress it was "She looks bloody awful in that dress, hasn't she got a big bum now, can't be bothered I'm off to bed" - peace at last :

Hope you had a great weekend, now see what this week brings.
Great news too about your carer friend, let me know how you get on.

[crocus]

Anyway, thanks to you and your previous post (wot got me thinking) I've recontacted my old carer friend. It took me several hours to pluck up the guts to do so. I honestly thought she'd tell me to get lost, and I wouldn't have blamed her if she did. But the opposite happened, she was dead chuffed to hear from me. We're in the middle of making arrangements so's we can meet up for a curry pub meal at Weatherspoon's.

Well done sajehar, that really did take guts, Im not surprised it took you a while to build up courage. I hope you have a lovely time chatting and catching up, and I hope the friendship lasts for many more years.

[Anne001]

Great news, Sajehar.

Kiwigaz - mum had quite a lot to say about Holly too. "With her money, you'd think she could get a dress that fits"